7 FBI Negotiation Secrets to Outsmart Narcissists, Liars & Manipulators | Chris Voss

Women of Impact

Impact Theory

Education, Society & Culture, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 657 Ratings

🗓️ 30 July 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Lisa Bilyeu sits down with former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, a man who’s spent decades navigating the minds of some of the most dangerous and manipulative people on the planet—including terrorists, criminals, narcissists, and psychopaths. In this incredibly insightful conversation, Chris unpacks the emotional and psychological tools he’s developed to outsmart even the most challenging personalities. Get ready to learn how to identify emotional triggers, use tactical empathy, and take control of high-stakes conversations—whether you’re facing a toxic boss, a manipulative partner, or just trying to stand your ground. Chris breaks down practical techniques like the illusion of control, the power of saying "no," and how simple questions can turn negotiations in your favor without raising alarm bells. Plus, Lisa and Chris dive into the emotional side of negotiations: how to stay calm when you’re triggered, why compromise often leads to disappointment, and why practicing your own internal “chatter” can prepare you for any confrontation. If you’re ready to master difficult dynamics and claim back your power, this episode is packed with actionable tools you can start using today. SHOWNOTES 00:00 "Using Negotiation Skills in Daily Life" 04:30 Using Passive Aggression for Control 06:42 Catching a Kidnapper with Questions 13:24 "Handling and Acknowledging Anger" 15:31 Flat Tone: Annoying Street Encounter 19:38 "Respect Drives Connection" 22:16 The Magic of Saying "You're Right" 24:58 "No Easy Way to Break Up" 27:37 Personal Dilemma and Perspective Shift 33:07 "Voice Tricks for Calm and Impact" 34:40 "Playful Attitude Beats Conflict" 39:36 Compromise: A Guaranteed Bummer? 42:11 Chasing Happiness: An Unpredictable Ride 45:08 "Dealing with the Mind's Chatter" 48:05 Cutting Ties with Toxic People 51:48 Negotiation Tips for Everyday Heroes CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS Vital Proteins: Get 20% off by going to ⁠https://www.vitalproteins.com⁠ and entering promo code WOI at check out. SleepMe: Visit ⁠https://sleep.me/woi⁠ to get your Chilipad and save 20% with code WOI. Try it risk-free with their 30-night sleep trial and free shipping! OneSkin: Get 15% off with code LISA at ⁠https://oneskin.co ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ****************************************************************** LISTEN TO WOMEN OF IMPACT AD FREE + BONUS EPISODES on APPLE PODCASTS:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠apple.co/womenofimpact⁠⁠⁠ ****************************************************************** FOLLOW LISA: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/womenofimpact⁠⁠⁠ Tik Tok: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lisa_bilyeu?lang=en⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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1:02.4	What up, guys? I'm so excited. So let's just dive in to this episode. I'm Lisa Bidlue. Welcome to
1:07.4	Women of Impact. You've spent over two decades in the FBI negotiating with terrorists, criminals, and some of the most manipulative people on the planet.
1:17.6	So how do you handle an outsmart someone like a narcissist or a psychopath who lacks complete empathy and only cares about themselves?
1:24.6	Well, when you come to Earth, when you're born, regardless of gender, ethnicity,
1:29.7	anything, diet, religion, the moment you arrive on planet Earth, the hypothesis, which I believe
1:34.7	in is you come basically with a set of core emotions, anger, surprise, joy, disgust, fear.
1:43.0	Then what creates a social path, the narcissist, any of these bad types,
1:48.0	is then their experience with life as they evolve. They're still born with core emotions. That doesn't
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