66: JeSuS With Two Cool Ses (The Acts of Thomas and his Wonderworking Skin)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 14 June 2020

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Pack your bags, Theophiloi, because we're going on a trip to India with Thomas, the Second Christ, who works hard and flays harder. Thanks to Dr. Tony Burke and his new book, New Testament Apocrypha Volume 2, hitting shelves this summer, we're taking a look at one of the weirder apostolic adventures, translated for the new book by Janet Spittler
and Jonathan Holste. That ol' doubter Thomas is out to spread the word, and believe us, he's got skin in the game. Spoiler warning: Jesus does a miracle.

Topics of discussion: Normal human times to sleep, the best titles in Bible, a drumline we can't name, our new cover art by JC Florendo, the Christian flag and its weird pledge, Chris making himself laugh very hard with a joke about Sonic, résumé tips, Jesus inventing the Cool S, umlaut vs. diaeresis, a real pickle, Yamcha Didymus, How Mary Beat Shaq.

Hymnal: "Celebrity Skin" by Hole, "Money, Money, Money" by Bens Happy Church Organ (https://youtu.be/2XzMLjVwI8g)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/user/apocrypals

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Keep fighting the good fight. Psalm 94.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Apocrapels on the Greenlit Podcast Network.
0:03.9	Check out all of our shows at greenlitpodcast.com.
0:08.3	Enraged, the priest said to him,
0:10.6	What are you doing here, deceiver of humans, you who bewitch all people?
0:14.4	Did all of Galilee not suffice for you that you have to come here too?
0:18.5	The Acts of Thomas and his wonderworking skin, chapter 8, verse 13. Hello, friends and study in demonology
0:38.1	Hey, so glad you could make it.
0:41.9	Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocopal's.
0:44.3	It's the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible,
0:46.6	and we try not to be jerks about it.
0:48.5	My name is Chris Sims, and with me as always is my co-host,
0:51.0	the other set of footprints.
0:52.7	Benito Serino.
0:53.4	Benito, how are you today?
0:55.8	Fine.
0:58.0	I'm fine.
0:59.0	Great.
0:59.8	I feel like the last couple times it's all been about how, like, I have, I've, I've
1:04.3	been indoors and I can't sleep and stuff.
1:07.3	So I'm actually, I'm kind of fine today.
1:11.1	You're getting downgraded with every sentence.
1:14.3	You were fine and now you're kind of fine.
	...

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