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games. Hello and welcome to Aniagram and Coffee the podcast. I'm your host

Sarah Jane Case and I am so happy to have coffee with you today.

Hello everybody so I am gearing up for kind of a hard quick chat for us to have. So, before I dive in, I want to give you a bit of a chance to opt out of this one. It's going to be pretty heavy. It could be triggering if you have a history with alcohol or suicide, whether that's on your own or a family member.

And if you don't feel like you're in the place emotionally to have that conversation,

this may not be the quick chat for you today. I just want to be as

a friend as possible, please tend to your own mental health first and foremost. I'll give you a second for those you want to

opt out to kind of take that time. So last Sunday a week and two days ago my brother called me. So he lives in Florida, two brothers who live in Florida and two brothers who live here.

One of my brothers from Florida called and said, and I didn't answer because I didn't know who it was

because we don't really talk. So he left the message on my voicemail that

said hey we need to talk and we need to talk about dad. And immediately I knew that

my dad had died. And I didn't know in what circumstances he would have died but I you know

my brother never calls me I don't even know how I got my phone number I could

maybe out of my dad's phone or something, but yeah.

So I called him back and he let me know that my dad committed suicide and honestly like in that conversation felt shock you know it didn't

really feel much because I was kind of just like

confused and numb and like asked some questions and and I went to the bathroom and I went to the bathroom and I came out and I kind of like a

look like a deer in headlights and didn't like look to be my husband and was like,

...