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Apocrypals

63: Wist Not To Whom Ne Whither (The Lives of St. Roche and St. Guinefort)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9650 Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2020

⏱️ 100 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You know who doesn't come off very well in Bible, Theophiloi? Dogs. This week, though, our canine pals get a little bit of redemption as we dive into the hagiographies of two sterling examples of Son of Man's Best Friend! Join us for the very official St. Roche "Pronounced Rock" Johnson and his li'l buddy Breadstick (patron saint of dogs) and the extremely disavowed St. Guinefort (patron saint of actually being a dog for real). Be warned: the dog does die in this one, but to be fair, he's a 13th century martyr, so you kind of had to expect that one. Plus: Every Dog Ever!

Topics of discussion: Pope Francis vs. Batman, the podcast of Avingon, a Bible Unicorn Update, an obscure reference even for us, acceptable babies, professional wrestler Lance Archer, alternate language for your 2020 PR emails, giving "thanks," an amazing sentence, Etienne de Bourbon, who suce en fait, when not to look at birds, America's daring, highly trained special missions dog, some real bad ideas about babies, Christ's Body in a beehvie which led us to make a great joke about Earth-3 Swarm that we lost due to technical difficulties, the rarified air of the Biscuit Sphere, another joke about how St. Guinefort could be that dog with the sword from Pokémon Sword that also got lost.

Hymnal: "Who Am I (What's My Name)" by Snoop Doggy Dogg, "Party Rock Anthem" by Jésus Pérez (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVBZKJaH-W8Vga70HQ1IM-Q)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals

 

Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to Apocrypalse on the Greenlit Podcast Network. Check out all of our shows at

0:05.4

greenlitpodcast.com. Further on the said error of heretical depravity, something must be said

0:12.7

about the superstition of the vain cult of divinations, incantations, oracles, the diverse devilish

0:18.2

delusions by which the devil attacks the Christian people,

0:25.3

drawing after him with the tale of fallacious seduction in numerous souls of the stupid.

0:27.8

There is an infinite number of these.

0:57.0

Stephen de Bourbon, on Saint-Ginfor. Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocryphalus. This is the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, and we try not to be jerks about it.

0:58.2

My name is Chris Sims, proud dog owner, and with me as always is Benito Serrano.

1:04.9

Benito, how are you?

1:07.1

If I may be allowed for a moment to quote beloved party rock icons, LMFAO,

1:16.2

every day I'm suffering.

1:18.5

Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do.

1:23.7

You know that song.

1:24.8

I do know that.

1:25.3

It's on my workout playlist.

1:26.6

Yeah.

1:27.8

If I can find a church organ cover of it, I will drop it right in there.

1:32.6

Amazing.

1:33.2

If you are not hearing it right now, then you know that we live in a fall.

1:47.9

How are you, Chris?

1:48.7

I'm all right.

1:51.4

It sounds like you're not having a great time, though.

...

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