All right, this is a question from a listener. Hi, Steph. My wife has tried to help a friend who is an alcoholic. She's told him to get professional help several times, but he nods. Makes promises and then goes out drinking with his clubbing buddies anyway. Last week, he almost died while drinking on a holiday but that same group. Only one week before that holiday he'd sat down with my wife, and she had a very difficult conversation with him urging him to fix his life. He promised her that he would. She feels deeply betrayed by him and now is having to cut him out of her life as he does not take her advice or listen. He also is quite overweight but follows Christianity. She's had long conversations with him about his weight, drinking and asked him what the church would say about his life. It's always the same non-response and empty promises. We have a son and she made this decision with me, taking advice you have given previously on such

life issues. We can't have an alcoholic in our lives around her family. Have you got any further

words on this that could help her understand and process the betrayal she feels? She really

tried to help him, but it has not worked. Thank you for your time from a UPBMP for the parenting family walking across that desert.

Ah, yes, the desert.

Well, listen, I sympathize.

I appreciate the help that you have tried to give this man.

Now, I'll just tell you about, it's probably a personal failing of mine,

I'm certainly happy to have it characterized that way,

but I will tell you my particular thoughts about this kind of stuff,

which is it's simply a question or a matter of willpower. A question or a matter of willpower.

A question or a matter of willpower.

Now, if you are born or have developed or have within you a good willpower,

then people who don't have willpower are incomprehensible.

We cannot understand. Sorry, repeat the phrase. We can't understand them. So for me, you know, and this is, again, it's a fault and it's a failing, probably, right? I'm certainly willing to have that be the case. But when I look at people who just make crazy decisions,

you know, like the borderlines and so on, if you leave me, I'll kill myself. I have people who just make crazy decisions. To me, it's just like, just don't be crazy. I view it as a form of self-indulgence.

Just don't be crazy. Deal with your feelings. Don't be crazy. And I don't, for me, I don't think

it's super hard in your life to just, I don't know, hey, not be crazy. How about you just don't be

crazy? Now, when it comes to something like alcoholism, how about you just don't drink? And again, I know there's trauma, I get all of that. I really understand all of that, which is not saying I don't have sympathy. I do have sympathy, but at some point you have to just not drink.

Ooh, I was about to swear, but we're dealing with some of our Christian friends, so I will be

delicate. I will be non-cussy. So your friend sounds like he is a triple addict. Number one, food,

he's a food addict, which is why he's overweight. Number two, of course, he's an alcoholic,

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