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New Mindset, Who Dis?

612 - Are they mad at you or mad at themselves?

New Mindset, Who Dis?

Case Kenny

Motivation, Selfhelp, Mindset, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Wellness, Relationships, Mental Health, Inspiration, Personaldevelopment, Society & Culture

4.96K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2024

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, I talk about four questions to ask yourself in the face of someone's hurtful behavior. I talk about the concept of a mirror and how to shrug off other people's negativity. My book, "That's Bold of you" is available on Amazon. Instagram: @case.kenny

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello and welcome to the new Mindset Who-This podcast. My name is Case Kenny at

0:06.2

Case. Cany on Instagram and this is my weekly podcast where I create short no-BS episodes

0:12.0

dedicated to helping you become the person you're meant to be leave

0:15.6

your comfort zone and live a purposeful and fulfilling life.

0:19.6

Let's go. Oh, All right. Welcome to episode 612. Hello my friend. Welcome to a fresh new episode of new mindset who this as always

0:55.4

thank you so much for listening thank you for supporting me and today I want to talk

0:59.4

about other people's behavior their behavior that hurts you you, disappoints you, attacks you,

1:04.0

criticizes you, whatever it may be. And I want to do this specifically because I

1:08.3

used to hear a phrase that I think we all rally around, a phrase like their behavior says more about them than it does about you right their behavior says more about them than it does about you I used to hear that and I used to be a bit unsure about it because I'm sure you've heard

1:25.3

advice like that before right that if someone hurts you that's because well deep down

1:29.8

they're a hateful person or you know someone attacks you or

1:34.0

criticizes you unjustly really unfair well that's because they're just

1:38.0

unhappy in their life and they're they're taking it out on you right and you know you

1:42.4

would hear advice like that and the takeaway would be, well, because of that, you know, you shouldn't take it personally. That's just them taking their unhappiness and putting it on you. You shouldn't let their behavior as a result make you doubt yourself or make you feel insecure.

1:56.0

And, you know, I've always tried to buy into that advice. It seems very true, right?

2:00.0

We're all like hurt people, hurting other people. It's a nice sound bite. It directs blame where it belongs in theory right back to them. But at the same time I've always struggled to really believe it because to me it's always been like, well, yeah, sure, you know, they're mean to me because they're a mean

2:17.0

hateful person or they hate themselves and they're unhappy and that's why they're mean to me.

2:21.8

That is why they're taking it out on me.

2:24.0

Sure, I can buy that. But I always kind of justified it in my mind. I would say, well, that doesn't make what they say or how they treat me any less true or any less hurtful.

2:34.1

You know, I used to really be my own enemy when it came to this and I would end up

2:38.3

really, really doubting myself in the face of pretty cut and dry mean behavior that was hurtful you know even if I could say it wasn't my fault I would still take it very personally and I've come a long way since this because I've found a more powerful way to look at other people's hurtful behavior.

2:58.0

It's this idea, still, it's still the idea that their hurtful behavior says more about them than it does about me,

...

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