#609: The 3 Tasks of Moving From Adolescence to Adulthood

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2020

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A lot of ink has been spilled about how young people today are struggling to transition from adolescence to adulthood. But these think pieces are often heavy on blame and light on solutions. My guest today takes an understanding approach to the difficulties of growing up, as well as offers practical strategies for facilitating the process. His name is Mark McConville, and he's a family clinical psychologist who's spent decades working with young clients and written a book on what he's found does and doesn't work in getting them to become more independent called Failure to Launch: Why Your Twentysomething Hasn't Grown Up . . . and What to Do About It. We begin our conversation with how Mark defines a failure to launch, when in his career he started to notice this issue in his young clients, and what factors are behind its prevalence. He then explains the idea of "emerging adulthood" and how it's normal for it to take some time for a twenty-something to start feeling like a grown-up. Mark and I then unpack the three tasks a young person must master to transition to adulthood, which includes discussions of what prevents twenty-somethings from taking on grown-up responsibilities, how parents need to shift from a supervisory role to a consultant role, the importance of getting going in the right direction, and why young adults should treat life like a climbing wall. We end our conversation with advice to parents on the best way to motivate their kids to tackle the tasks of growing up. Plenty of insights for both young adults and their parents in this episode. Get the show notes at aom.is/launch.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Bret McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:11.0	Now a lot of ink has been spilled about how young people today are struggling to transition
0:14.9	from adolescence to adulthood.
0:16.4	But these think pieces are often heavy on blame and light on solutions.
0:20.0	My guest today takes an understanding approach to the difficulties of growing up, as well
0:23.6	as offers practical strategies for facilitating the process.
0:26.7	Today is Mark Pekkonville, he's a family clinical psychologist who spent decades working
0:30.4	with young clients and he's written a book on what he's found does and doesn't work
0:34.2	in getting them become more independent.
0:36.2	It's called failure to launch while your 20 something hasn't grown up and what to do about it.
0:40.4	We begin our conversation with how Mark defines a failure to launch.
0:43.6	When in his career he started to notice the issue in his young clients and what factors are behind
0:47.8	its prevalence today. He then explains the idea of emerging adulthood and how it's normal for it to
0:52.3	take some time for a 20 something to start feeling like a grown up.
0:55.3	Mark and I then unpack the three tasks a young person must master to transition to adulthood,
1:00.0	which includes the discussions of what prevents 20 somethings from taking on grown up responsibilities,
1:04.6	how parents need a shift from a supervisory role to a consultant role.
1:08.2	The importance of getting going in the right direction and why young adults should treat life
1:12.4	like climbing a wall.
1:13.8	We enter a conversation with advice to parents on the best way to motivate their kids,
1:17.1	tackle the task growing up, which plenty of insights for both young adults and their parents
1:21.3	in this episode. After it's over, check out our show notes at awim.islashlaunch.
	...

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