This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.LisaDemore.com.

Episode 60, What Makes for a Good Divorce? You know, we're talking about divorce this week, and something you told somebody years ago still

sticks in my mind when you said, just because you get divorced, doesn't mean that the marriage was bad. That's right. I think

you know, we get married and we're one age and we're one person and then we grow and change

and we don't always grow in the same direction. And I was. I was talking with a friend of mine who had recently divorced.

And I don't always assume people are heartbroken about it, though sometimes they are.

And it became clear that she was not heartbroken about it.

And I said, you know, just because something's not good forever doesn't mean it wasn't good.

That's such a good quote.

It helps. It helps.

And it's even true of things like friendships that don't last forever and ever.

And I think sometimes we can have this idea that if it doesn't have a happy ending, the whole thing's bad.

And that's not usually the case.

I never had that perspective before until you said that.

And a lot of people are reevaluating their relationships with everybody, you know, from spouses to friends in this pandemic.

So this letter we got it. I want to read this too. It says,

Hi, Dr. Lisa. My husband and I are getting divorced, and my six-year-old daughter has been

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