5998 I Was Self-Destructive as a CHILD! CALL IN SHOW

Freedomain with Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux

Freedom, Politics, Objectivism, Freedomainradio, Anarchy, Democrat, Liberal, Republican, Libertarian, News & Politics, Joe-rogan, Objectivist, Atheism, Philosophy, Atheist, Conservative, Pacifism

4.7 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 June 2025

⏱️ 127 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The episode features a candid conversation with a caller who shares his long-standing struggles with suicidal thoughts, depression, and compulsive behaviors. Initially attempting to rationalize his issues through science, he recounts a recent emotional release after prayer, leading to uncertainty about faith and reason. Host Stefan guides the caller in exploring the roots of his distress, tracing feelings of dread from childhood related to a volatile relationship with his mother and the ineffective protection from his father. As they delve into the caller's family dynamics, they uncover how unresolved trauma has influenced his adult relationships and tendency to hide his struggles. The discussion emphasizes the importance of honesty and vulnerability in personal connections and the necessity of seeking therapy to address his inherited pain. By the end, the caller reflects on insights gained and the need to commit to his mental health, showcasing a journey toward self-awareness and emotional resilience.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I'd been wrestling with suicidal thoughts, depression, and what I'd call counterproductive,
0:05.2	compulsive behavior since I was at least 10. And I think earlier than that, I tried a seemingly
0:12.2	rational scientific approach, leaning on genetics, evolutionary psychology, and logic, trying to
0:18.5	just think it through for years, but it did not work.
0:22.7	Recently, I prayed and felt something I could call God, but there's also an equally plausible
0:27.7	physiological explanation, I'm sure. Basically, I broke down in tears, and for days,
0:33.9	the suicidal noise and the negative self-talk just stopped. It was pretty crazy for me.
0:40.3	For the first time in a while, that happened. But I just tend to be a skeptical guy. I'm wired
0:46.4	to think a certain way, and I have a tendency to just saw off the branch I'm standing on just for the
0:51.4	hell of it, and I can't fully buy into a religious
0:54.7	world view. So I feel like I'm stuck. Am I abandoning reason if I live by a religious ethos
1:01.7	that I don't fully believe in? Even if it works, isn't the result more important than the methodology
1:07.2	you're using being 100% airtight? And I wanted your take on does belief matter or
1:13.6	is the outcome enough? So is that a philosophical question that you want to discuss or did you
1:22.3	want to talk more about the suicidality and the possible cause of that. I mean, I'm more interested in the practical application of this just for the implications on my life.
1:35.9	That's, you know, it's sort of been a long road trying to figure this out.
1:39.1	And for the first time, you know, I had this sort of, I'd be more interested in figuring out the cause of
1:44.8	the suicidality than the, than the epistemological question, but I think they could sort of
1:50.6	circle back into one another.
1:52.3	Right.
1:53.1	Okay.
1:55.4	Okay.
	...

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