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Coaching for Leaders

598: The Assumptions That Stop Us From Listening Well, with Oscar Trimboli

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Education, Business, Management, Self-improvement, Careers

4.81.6K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2022

⏱️ 39 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Oscar Trimboli: How to Listen Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces, and cultures around the world. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran with over 30 years experience across general management, sales, marketing, and operations for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, Professional Advantage, and Vodafone. He is the author of the book, Deep Listening and now, his newest book, How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication*. In this conversation, Oscar and I explore several of the assumptions that tend to get in our way of listening well. Oscar highlights distinctions that will be useful mindsets for you in showing up better in future conversations. Plus, we discuss how listing goes far beyond simply asking questions. Key Points Before we begin listening, it is helpful to tune…much like as orchestra. We can’t always give our full attention, but we can make the choice as to whether we are paying attention or giving attention. As much as we intend otherwise, sometimes we listen less well in our closest relationships. Aim to be curious instead of drawing conclusions. Asking questions does not necessarily mean you are listening well. Aimless and arbitrary questions are everywhere. Resources Mentioned How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication* by Oscar Trimboli Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458) Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500) How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Transcript

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0:00.0

It's so easy to draw conclusions instead of being curious.

0:04.8

Our assumptions can easily get in the way of listening well.

0:08.8

On this episode, where to watch for those tendencies and how to do better in connecting

0:13.8

with others.

0:15.0

This is Coaching for Leaders, Episode 598.

0:19.3

Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential.

0:27.6

Greetings to you from Orange County, California.

0:30.6

This is Coaching for Leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stoviac.

0:35.6

Leaders aren't born.

0:37.0

They're made.

0:38.0

And this weekly show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations.

0:44.3

One of the things that so many of us think about when we do think about having insightful

0:48.6

conversations, of course, is listening.

0:52.0

Meaning is a skill that so many of us aspire to to do better, not only as leaders, but

0:58.8

of course in all aspects of our lives.

1:01.2

And yet it is a skill that evades us often, and that many of us bring assumptions to,

1:08.1

and those assumptions don't always serve us well.

1:11.5

Today, I'm so glad to welcome back to the show an expert that's going to help us to look

1:17.4

at some of our assumptions on listening, nudges in a little bit different direction,

1:22.0

help us to do an even better job at showing up as the listeners we want to be.

1:26.3

I'm so glad to welcome back Oscar Trimboly.

1:29.1

He is an author, host of the Apple Award-winning podcast Deep Listening, and a sought-after keynote

...

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