Basically, I wanted to ring my father for the first time in eight years.

I've now come to a realization or I've got my reasonings now to finally want to call him

because I remember the first calling show, we talked about that for a bit and whether it was a good idea or not.

So I called him or I reached out to him, said, hey, I need to talk about some stuff about my childhood.

And we message.

And then I got his number.

And before I could even call him, I don't know if I just got myself worked up or what.

But I just completely just dissociated from just like all of fly-headed like in the

really bad anxiety and the reason by the I don't know how much I remember telling you

in our first call-and show, but I was like,

she'd be out of him when I was a lot younger.

And obviously, I haven't heard from me in eight years, so it was a bit of a big thing.

And basically, the reason why I want to ring you out is because I'm just struggling to process

and understand why I'm feeling that way.

And even if maybe I need like to do a role play or something,

just to sort of help me prepare, I guess, in a way to, like, do the call him with him.

Because my biggest worry was when that happened, I was like,

what's going to happen if I call him?

And I'm just like, because it was like, I literally forgot why I was going to call him in the

first place, right?

Like, because my, I just got really, like, worked up and anxious.

And, yeah, it's just, and I thought I just prompt to call you first to, you know, maybe see see if you can help me, you know,

...