We're back for the Ask Paul Tripp podcast, although Paul we should probably call today's episode

the I disagree with Paul Tripp podcast. The following is one of the most common questions or

disagreements that we've received over the years from people when they hear your marriage teaching.

A little bit of context first. Jim and Christy are licensed

professional counselors and they use your marriage material in their church as well as lead in divorce

care groups. They've been serving in this way for nearly two decades. They don't disagree with you,

but they are anticipating this disagreement from some of the participants that they disciple. Here it is. You keep saying that,

quote, I am my biggest problem in my marriage, end quote. I don't understand that because my spouse's

alcohol addiction or unfaithfulness or abuse or fill in the blank is actually our biggest problem.

Paul, I know your answer, but I think it would be good to set the record straight publicly.

So I have written in a marriage book, and I've said this hundreds of times,

and speaking on marriage, that you are, in marriage, you are your biggest problem.

And so what I want to do is I want to say what that means and then say what it doesn't mean.

What it means is there is something that all of us drag into our marriages that's disruptive to marriage.

The Bible names it, sin.

Paul tells us in 2nd, this 515, that Jesus came so that those who live would no longer live for themselves.

That means the DNA of sin is selfishness.

That means sin in its fundamental form is antisocial.

My wants, my needs, my feelings. You serve my kingdom.

And so that is inside of me as I get married. And so the thing that I need most in marriage is to be delivered from that thing in me.

Because that DNA of sin, that self-focused, that selfishness in the true sense of what it means is destructive to everything that a marriage is about.

It's destructive to communication.

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