587: Mavis Beacon Teaches Bonka Bonka

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9 • 546 Ratings

🗓️ 17 February 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you a victim of shiny ham? Did you think it was like shiny beef (which is fine), ate it, and your hands fell off? Then are we the legal team for you! We will personally sue the pig who produced your ham that went shiny. If they're already dead, we'll sue their piglets. We will get you your money back! But not your hands, those are long gone. Actually, can you bring your hands to our law office? We want to see fallen-off hands, just for our own curiosity. And while you visit, we might play you an episode of Regular Features in which Matt finds out Mavis Beacon wasn't real, Log starts but - crucially - does not finish a feature, and Joe makes a startling discovery inside an audio illusion. DON'T DELAY IF YOU ATE BAD HAM.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Regular regular, regular features.
0:01.9	A regular regular, regular features.
0:04.0	A regular regular features.
0:05.7	A regular features are sure.
0:07.9	Hey, you, it's regular features.
0:10.7	The podcast that's the same every week.
0:13.5	I'm going to pass you over to my good friend, Log now.
0:17.9	Because I'm just some famous fucking pass-by.
0:22.1	So here you go.
0:23.9	Over to log.
0:24.8	Hello, welcome to regular features, the podcast is the same every week.
0:27.3	I'm here with my two best friends.
0:28.7	I'm still doing a voice.
0:29.8	I'm going to pass you over to the real log now.
0:32.5	Hello, I'm Log.
0:34.2	Welcome to regular features, the podcast that's the same every week. I'm here with two of my closest bosom buddies, each of whom has a different power who they'll use to amuse you tonight. Joe Scrabbles, what is your power and how do you use it to amuse?
0:50.0	I can create volcanoes from under the sea. Out of what?
0:54.9	Out of the sea and of the sea.
0:58.1	And I use them to squirt boiling hot jokes over near seaside towns, killing everyone inside with mirth.
1:08.5	Yes.
1:09.6	Yes.
1:10.3	But that's the problem.
	...

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