586: Ian Fidance

Duncan Trussell Family Hour

Comedy Interviews, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Philosophy, Comedy

4.8 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 15 October 2023

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ian Fidance, incredibly funny comedian and all around great person, re-joins the DTFH!

Check out Ian's podcast, Bein' Ian With Jordan, available everywhere you listen to podcasts.

Original music by Aaron Michael Goldberg.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Greetings to you friends. It's me Duncan. This is the Ducatrossel Family Hour Podcast, and I am reporting to you from the brand-new
0:11.4	simulated perfect Earth. It's wonderful over here. I upward with my consciousness. My body was liquefied,
0:19.2	turned into this amazing
0:21.4	gelatinous
0:22.3	putty, which was then injected into a person in need. For those of you still flopping around out there with your silly little bodies and your
0:30.9	dumb appendages and your complete inability to instantaneously
0:35.1	transform into a fire-breeding rooster with a giant cock, which I do every morning when I wake up in my
0:42.0	Palatial as state and new Italy. I feel bad for you. I know a lot of you are attached to your bodies. A lot of you feel like if you lose your body
0:51.5	you don't exist anymore. It's all bullshit. That's just what the meat fascists want you to believe. I'm sorry you fell for it.
1:00.2	And I'm sorry that you have yet to experience what it's like to split yourself into 50,000 different people and have a
1:07.8	50,000 person orgy and it's all you. It's okay. It's okay. It's a little better than Starbucks. I'm just gonna
1:17.5	leave it there. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna be a missionary. I'm not gonna try to recruit you to come over to this perfect paradise
1:26.5	where there is no war, where there is no fighting, where the news is only good and even better, the news is just about you.
1:35.6	And because you're living in a perfect digital paradise, the news is always good.
1:42.0	There's nothing that makes me happier than hearing.
1:45.2	Digital Sean Hannity talk about how incredible I am, not just as a person but as a father.
1:52.5	And I know it's controversial because my family didn't want to come over here, but I can parent just as well
1:58.4	through my Android, which I can control from this side of things. The Android is capable of changing diapers,
2:08.2	doing bedtime as long as I don't get it wet. It's wonderful. It does shock the kids.
2:14.2	We've got a wonderful podcast with you. Today on the DTFH is one of my favorite meat body friends, Ian
2:22.0	Phi dance. He is a incredibly funny comedian and an all around great person. And we had a wonderful
2:29.6	conversation about how to handle all the insane stuff going on over there in Meatland,
	...

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