5840 Advice to New Fathers

Freedomain with Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux

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4.6 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 5 February 2025

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this lecture, Stefan Molyneux addresses the transition to fatherhood, highlighting the shift in focus from personal happiness to mutual and child-centered joy. He explains the selfless nature of parenting, emphasizing that the true fulfillment comes from nurturing a child's happiness. Molyneux shares personal experiences illustrating how parenting deepens relationships and enriches everyday moments. He stresses the importance of supporting the child's mother and acknowledges the challenges of early motherhood, urging fathers to be strong pillars for their families. The lecture concludes with Molyneux's key advice for new fathers: embrace family life and move beyond self-centeredness for a fulfilling, regret-free existence.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey there, Stefan Molyneux from. The Free Domain got a question from a wise listener who asked,
0:07.1	what is your advice to a new father? Father. Pater, familiar as well, a couple of thoughts that I had.
0:16.0	It's a great question. So, it's a strange thing. I don't really get the mechanics, so I'm just going to tell you how it works,
0:24.6	and maybe you all can figure it out in a way that I can't. It's a strange mechanic, but when you're single,
0:33.3	you mostly focus on what makes you happy, like your own pleasures, your own preferences and so on.
0:38.9	When you become a husband, you focus on your wife's pleasures, she focuses on your pleasures,
0:46.4	and it's great, right? You have someone in your corner, so on watching your back. And that makes you
0:54.0	happier, right? You're happier to focus on someone else's
0:58.5	pleasures rather than just pretty much focus on your own. And I suppose a sort of somewhat coarse but
1:07.0	fairly vivid example of this would be sexuality, right? If you have a sexual partner and you only focus on your own pleasure, that's selfish,
1:17.1	and it doesn't actually, it's not, I mean, it's not really that much fun in the long run
1:21.3	because you get happiness from your partner's pleasure.
1:25.0	And if you focus solely on your own pleasure, then you probably won't
1:30.0	have a sexual partner for very long.
1:32.5	It's kind of like in business.
1:34.0	If you focus only on what you want, then you're not going to be very good in business.
1:39.4	If you focus on what the customer wants, on what's good for the customer, then serving the customer serves
1:45.3	your own needs. In productive educational situations, if you focus only on what you like to teach,
1:54.8	then you're not a very good teacher. If you focus on what the students want to learn and how they best learn,
2:02.3	you are going to end up more productive. So a sort of single circle where it's just your pleasure
2:08.5	is not particularly satisfying in the long run. If you have overlapping circles of you and your wife, then that's better. But there's a funny thing that
2:22.7	happens when you have a child in that a baby, right? I'm just talking about the baby part.
	...

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