5805 MY FATHER WAS IN PRISON! Freedomain Call In
Freedomain with Stefan Molyneux
Stefan Molyneux
4.7 • 2.4K Ratings
🗓️ 12 January 2025
⏱️ 135 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
https://premium.freedomain.com/659840fabac7190c0804511f/please-help-me-with-my-rage-freedomain-call-in
Dear Stefan,
I’ve been meaning to reach out to you for over a year now. My husband had his first call with you in December 2023, where he discussed the impact of domestic violence on our family. Since then, he’s sought help, and we’ve been without physical violence for over a year. While we still struggle with unhealthy verbal arguments, he is making genuine efforts to improve, and I’ve realized I need to do the same.
Part of me must know that my childhood was less than ideal, but I’ve come from a long line of conflict avoiders and if you just pretend it didn’t happen then it didn’t happen. So sometimes I wonder if I’m making out to be more than it is. My husband’s reactions to the memories I recall are odd to me, as these things seem so normal it’s hard to imagine that not all families have similar dynamics.
I think I’ve been hesitant to reach out because I know you will uncover truths I’ve been trying to ignore—about my family and about myself. But as I’ve spent this past year reflecting on my past, writing about my experiences, and attempting to set boundaries, I realize I’m in over my head and need more direction. My husband and I have two little girls and another one on the way; therefore, it is critical I put my fears aside and get my issues sorted.
The main issues I’m having are - (1) I struggle with forming consistent emotional bonds with my children—sometimes feeling deeply connected, but other times dissociated. (2) Feeling immense guilt for setting boundaries, (3) Battling severe anxiety and mild depression, as well as social awkwardness and a constant feeling that others are more ‘adult’ than I am, (4) I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, occasionally leading to outbursts (5) Shame from past behavior- recklessness and disrespecting myself
I used to blame most of my struggles on my father—a drug addict, criminal, and abuser. But after listening to a few of your call-ins and talking with my husband, I’ve started to see how much of an impact my mom had as well. I think I avoided facing this truth because I was afraid it would make me dislike her, but I realize now that it’s something I can’t ignore. I need to confront these issues head-on and do what is required to break the cycle and make sure my past doesn’t damage my children and my marriage.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope to hear from you soon.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, so I said that I've been meaning to reach out to you for over a year now. |
| 0:05.8 | My husband had his first call with you in December 2020, |
| 0:09.6 | where he discussed the impact of domestic violence on our family. |
| 0:13.9 | Since then, he sought help and we've been without physical violence for over a year. |
| 0:18.4 | While we still struggle with unhealthy verbal arguments, |
| 0:20.7 | he is making genuine efforts to improve, so I've realized I need to do the same. |
| 0:25.8 | Part of me must know that my childhood was less than ideal, but I've come from a long line of conflict avoiders, and if you just pretend it didn't happen, then it didn't happen. |
| 0:34.8 | So sometimes I wonder if I'm making it out to be more than it is. |
| 0:38.3 | Although my husband's reactions to the memories I recall are odd to me, as these things seem |
| 0:42.8 | so normal, it's hard to imagine that not all families have similar dynamics. And I think I've been |
| 0:48.5 | hesitant to reach out this year, or all of last year, because I know that you'll uncover |
| 0:53.3 | truths I've been trying to ignore about my family, about myself. |
| 0:57.5 | But I've spent the last year reflecting on my past, writing about my experiences, |
| 1:02.0 | and attempting to set boundaries, and I realize I'm in over my head and need more direction. |
| 1:07.8 | My husband and I have two little girls, and we are expecting another little girl in June. |
| 1:13.1 | Therefore, it's critical. |
| 1:14.1 | I put my fears aside and get my issues sorted. |
| 1:17.5 | And then I list out my main issues that I've been having. |
| 1:20.3 | The first being I struggle with forming consistent emotional bonds with my children. |
| 1:25.3 | I'll go from feeling deeply connected and then other times dissociated. |
| 1:30.3 | Number two, I've been, I'll feel immense guilt anytime I set a boundary, mainly with my mom, but just boundary setting in general. |
| 1:37.3 | Number three, in battling with severe anxiety and mild depression. |
... |
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