580 - Actually, You Should Be Testing Your Partner

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Society & Culture, Sexuality, Education, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.9 • 970 Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever tested a partner? Found yourself engineering a situation, dropping a hint, waiting for them to text first, all so you can see if they're as committed to you as you are to them? Uncertainty is hard in relationships, and if we don't feel safe enough to ask directly, we sometimes test our partners in ways that are sneaky, manipulative, and frankly, exhausting for everyone involved. This week, we're discussing why the urge to test a partner is actually quite normal, going over what research says about the different kinds of tests people use and what they might reveal, and things you can do instead when you feel the desire to start testing a partner. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYWhatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and get an exclusive 15% offer at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Bonjourno, Principaisa. Hello, Multiamreliusenus. I'm going to be taking my next somatic healing
0:07.8	retreat to Italy. So I know that they all say when in Rome, but we're going to be skipping Rome
0:13.4	entirely and we're heading somewhere better. We're holding our next somatic retreat at this
0:18.4	absolutely gorgeous former winery located in Piedmont in northern Italy
0:22.9	from September 22nd to the 25th, 26. I'm really excited about the fact that this time we're going to a
0:30.6	much more quiet, tucked away corner of Italy that hasn't quite been discovered yet, so there's
0:35.9	not going to be a ton of tourists, just rolling hills,
0:39.7	fresh air, and access to authentic local food.
0:43.3	And over the course of four days, my colleague Orit and I will be guiding group somatic
0:48.1	sessions to help you work through some of the emotional patterns that talk therapy alone
0:52.6	hasn't been able to shift.
0:54.5	Plus, there's going to be plenty of downtime for you to wander, to decompress, or to just
0:59.2	exist and hang out alongside other polyamorous people who get it. We handle everything so that
1:04.8	you can be totally present. All of your accommodations are included, all meals, snacks, drinks,
1:09.8	we hire a private chef to be on site.
1:12.4	You're welcome to come solo, or you can bring a partner or multiple partners.
1:17.3	We offer sliding scale pricing, and if cost is a concern for you, please don't let that stop
1:22.4	you from applying. We're happy to work with you on that. So go to multimry.com slash retreat to apply. Again, that's multi-amory.com
1:31.8	slash retreat. And I hope to see you in Italy. Rather than testing your partner, you can initiate this
1:42.7	cycle, right? So as in like act in pro-relationship
1:46.0	ways, because that's going to help you create conditions where your partner's response
1:50.7	becomes visible naturally, again, through these natural like diagnostic situations. So you don't
	...

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