5745 I GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER! Freedomain Call In

Freedomain with Stefan Molyneux

Stefan Molyneux

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4.6 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 27 November 2024

⏱️ 107 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Stefan engages with a caller who has filed a restraining order against his father after enduring years of emotional distress. He reflects on their tumultuous relationship, shaped by high expectations and manipulation, including a pivotal incident in Mexico. We explore the psychological impact of familial expectations and the necessity of setting boundaries for self-preservation.

The caller seeks guidance on healing and navigating relationships, prompting a discussion on the societal tendency to downplay family abuse. I emphasize the importance of validating one's experiences and the need for integrity in assessing potential partners.

The episode culminates in a focus on establishing healthy boundaries and the distinction between love and enabling behavior, reinforcing the value of relationships that support personal well-being.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Stefan, I just filed a restraining order against my dad after he trespassed at my house refusing to leave.
0:08.0	My sister stopped speaking to him 15 years before I did. She was raised by a different mother.
0:14.2	After he trespassed, he sent me an email mocking my deceased mother, showing his intentions were as expected to intimidate me.
0:23.1	I was looking for general life advice on how to move on and how to feel fulfilled in the
0:28.7	present in hopes of his past mistreatments, not having too much of a negative effect on my current
0:35.6	life.
0:38.2	Gosh, I'm really sorry to hear this kind of intrusions and aggressions are very, very hard to deal with.
0:47.2	And I guess if you can just give me a bit of the story of your childhood, your family life as a whole, I'd appreciate that.
0:53.4	Of course. So my parents were married until I'd appreciate that. Of course.
0:58.8	So my parents were married until I was about two years old.
1:12.2	And the general issues that I had had with my dad growing up, I spent a significant amount of time with him because my mom was very sick with cancer at the time. She did survive that. Unfortunately, she passed this year. The general things that were very difficult to deal
1:19.8	with my dad on is he had very high standards for me and virtually none for himself. He would get
1:26.9	absolutely enraged at random trivial nonsense.
1:31.1	And he was always trying to get one over on me.
1:34.3	So I had spent basically 20 years around him walking on eggshells,
1:40.7	always terrified of the next thing flipping him out. And when we went to Mexico,
1:50.1	he actually tried to get one over on me because he wasn't happy that I only spent one hour
1:56.0	with him on the separate island, and as opposed to the recommended seven hours or so, he tried hiding my
2:04.8	passport so I couldn't get my COVID test to get back into America so I would be stranded there.
2:11.7	And when I asked him, by any chance, did you intentionally try to do that to teach me a lesson? I mean, it sounds weird, but it's in the back of my mind. I have to ask you, was it you? Because I know I didn't just accidentally misplace the passport. And then he writes me a long text explaining how you're so unappreciative. You're Mr. I can do everything all by myself. So let's see you do
2:36.0	things by yourself. And on that day, I just said, you know what? I think I'm going to do what my
2:42.2	sister did 15 years ago and just no longer have a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate
	...

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