Well, good evening, everybody.

This is going to be a tale of two movies.

One is called Megalopolis, and the other is called Speak No Evil.

One is basically like a stoner telling you about his Art Deco fever dream,

and the other is a pretty tort intense human drama of the effects of cowardice and a lack of boundaries.

So, no, with regards to, look, I knew going into it that Megalopolis was going to be agony.

It is, if you've ever had someone spend two and a half hours telling you about the dream they had,

backtracking, changing, not giving you any context, not telling you what, anything, how anything

hangs together, and then you never get a chance to analyze it because you'd rather chew

an electrical cable or pee on the third rail of a subway car,

rather than listen to any more of it, you've had the megalopolis experience.

And first of all, no shade on Adam Driver, although he did start off with the absolute

humiliation ritual of playing the masturbating psycho in Lena Dunham's Girls series, and ever since then, he basically

growls and snaps his way. This sort of combination of Leonard Nimoy and Planet of the

apes look that he's got going on with, you know, you're a rich guy, you know, good Lord,

get a couple of moles dealt with. I don't want to look like an inverse

picture of the night's guy. So, it was just terrible. Oh my God. All right. Now,

there's some movies that are so bad, they're good. I offer you Krull the Barbarian or Krall

the Conqueror. I offer you up Conan the Second,

whatever it was, Conan the Destroyer, some movies that are so bad that they're good. This one was

so bad that I'm not a huge fan of the death penalty, but everyone involved should ideally

receive the death penalty. That would be the one

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