Hello, Stefan. I am the eldest of four siblings and the only daughter. My second youngest brother is planning

to be married in April to someone who is a huge red flag. Three months into the relationship,

my other brothers and I sat down with him and tried to get him out of the relationship before it was too late.

He didn't listen. They eventually moved in together. They lied about the length of their relationship to get her added on to his benefits through work on top of other things and now have three dogs.

I know that this girl has a lot of trauma. Her father did commit

suicide. She was raised by her abusive mom and basically had to raise her younger

sister and I do feel bad for her and I want her to get the help that she

needs to heal but they're not willing to take advice or listen to any suggestions when I've tried to give them my opinions or I've even shared your work with them to try to entice them to listen to you.

I'm very certain that if my brother does marry her he will regret it in the future and especially her he's in for a

rocky future my husband and I have discussed that we will not attend the wedding

because we can't support the union and that we do not want to raise our kids around her and therefore him by association.

We haven't told them this yet, but we're planning to very soon.

Growing up, my family has always been very close and I'm being torn apart by this.

I love my brother dearly and I'm very scared that if we don't attend the wedding and then tell them that we don't want our kids around them, that it would really hurt him and our relationship. He's very sensitive so that part is tough and then which would

mean that in the future if there's family gatherings and weddings and holidays etc that they would

attend then we wouldn't and I am afraid that it would tear my entire family apart.

I don't think that my siblings or my parents have the conviction to stand up to him.

And one example of one of my siblings recent response to me when I explain what we were planning

to do is he said that they seem happy together and it's his life he has to make

the mistakes and learn from them and you'll regret ruining the relationship if you do cut him off and decide

not to attend his wedding.

I would not want to force my siblings or parents to have to choose between me or him

...