Hey everybody, Stephen Mulany from Free Domain, so I did go and see the movie

I went to a late night showing of the movie Long Legs with Nicholas Cage and Blair

Underwood and some woman who apparently was told by the director throughout the entire movie to act as if she was both

frightened, frigidly cold and needing to pee just as kind of uneasy Jeff Goldblum in a skit kind of tension

that didn't really have any characterization to it. There's going to be some

spoilers in this but there's also going to be a real wallop of insight.

So I'll keep this relatively brief.

So basically it was just a pastiche of all the cliches

you could possibly come up with with regards to horror movies, right?

You had the killer clown, which was Nick Cage in some pancake

makeup nonsense.

You had the frightened FBI agent, which I guess is a nod had dolls of the

you had dolls of the lambs

you had dolls of course the creepy dolls with the eyes opening

and all that kind of stuff you had the particular source just to make things look cool you had Christian cross axe

murderers you had terrifying nuns you had like every possible cliche it's like

it's like if AI assembled a jigsaw puzzle of horror movie cliches and jammed it into one

an appetizing hour and a half snus fest. They had audio assault, literally it feels like Trotsky being hunted down with a nice pick by

Stalin's goons in Mexico because the jump scares, listen, I don't mind if you earn a good

jump scare, right? I don't mind that at all. What I do mind is if you have basically a Sonic weapon aimed at my frontal lobes through my eardrums causing them to hurt. That's not a legitimately earned good

goosegumpy goose bumpy jump scare. That's just basically an audio punch to

the Nads and it's considered to be some sort of sport.

...