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Segments

557: Swashbuckler

Segments

Headgum

Amir Blumenfeld, Health & Fitness, Comedy, Advice, Relationships, Society & Culture, Jake Hurwitz, Jake And Amir, Guidance

4.95.8K Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2022

⏱️ 45 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode we discuss todah's, tattoos, and teenage Jews.

Advertise on If I Were You via Gumball.fm.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is a head gamma region.

0:30.0

That's not bad. You made a new hand gesture. Yeah. I mean, it's not that's not rocking out.

0:54.8

It's kind of like the wolf shadow puppet hand gesture maybe or something. Yeah. It's interesting.

1:03.4

So if you're watching, you can watch this on YouTube. We're recording the zoom of our interaction.

1:08.2

So you can actually see what's going on here. I'm sort of doing the hang loose, but I'm also adding

1:13.2

the ring finger. It's the shaka with the ring. I like it. Instead of, it's still three fingers like

1:19.6

the shaker, but it's the thumb. It's the ring and it's the pinky. Yeah. Can I get three of those

1:28.1

tall boys right here? Just three. Your hands are crazy. This is what my ring finger has to look

1:35.2

like if I have these two fingers down. On my left, I also can't do that, but on my right, I can go

1:43.2

full inline parallel for whatever reason. That's really impressive. That's really cool. I can't

1:51.1

get that anywhere. No. Yeah. That's like, I think because you probably masturbate too much.

2:00.5

Right? That's unrelated to your hand. No, I'm sorry. I'm changing the topic. I need to talk to you

2:06.3

about something. I think you all, because you don't masturbate at all. No, I look out for perfect.

2:11.5

I mean, I've reached full. I don't know what you call this, the triple kiss or whatever the

2:17.2

fuck, but it's full interlock. Sorry, unrelated. You can't get erect, right? You can't get erect.

2:25.7

Is that why you don't masturbate? I just know. I remember hearing. I may actually can't get

2:30.8

a heart on. I'm in a constant state of having a semi. So you can't get fully flaccid either.

2:38.1

I'm half masked and at half past every single fucking half hour on the half hour.

2:47.9

Amazing. It absolutely sucks. Slash sucks.

2:55.6

Oh, we forgot to say who actually wrote that song. Oh, I'm going to be. It's by Chris in Cardiff

3:02.8

Wales, who says at around the 10 minute mark of episode 525, a mere requested a song to be written

3:08.9

and submitted about how you can only appreciate food after a toothache.

...

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