There is problem of sort of chasing fame and chasing the wrong kind of fame and I think people should

aim for being famous to a small tribe just like you are just like art of charm right you are extremely famous to the right few thousand people.

Welcome to the art of charm i'm Jordan harbinger today we're talking with my friend clay a bear who is master the art of the introduction you should listen to this show if you want to learn how to introduce yourself in a very effective way in six words or less.

How to tailor your introduction of yourself and your business to the room and the crowd that you're in how to introduce others to one another in an effective way that makes everyone look like a pro and a technique to ensure that people welcome your introduction on both sides so enjoy this one with clay a bear and by the way if you're new to the show we'd love to send you some top episodes and the aoc toolbox where we discuss things like body language and non verbal communication persuasion networking negotiation mentorship and everything else we teach here at the art of charm in the

US just text charmed to 3 3 4 4 4 that's C-H-A-R-M-E-D to 3 3 3 4 4 4 everywhere else go to the art of charm dot com also at the art of charm dot com slash podcast you can find the full show notes for this and all previous episodes all right here's clay a bear.

Clay first of all thanks for coming on the show man I really appreciate it.

Thanks for having me Jordan thrilled to be here.

Yeah I'm keen to have you on because I've known you for a while but you are kind of like just in my roll of the x in my brain you are like a crowdfunding guy but you've actually done a lot of different things you're a little bit of a business renaissance man if you will and I wanted to have you come on and talk about some of the ways that you first of all create and achieve goals you know you're the reason that many so Mondays existed you know that I did not know that so the reason that this happened was because at the event where I most recently saw you you.

You were giving a presentation about networking and well it was essentially about how to introduce yourself properly it was less about networking and I thought wow this is really cool but it's not a whole show the whole thing even the dramatization that you did with Joey Coleman lasted I don't know 15 minutes or something so I thought an explanation would be much shorter and I thought I've got a ton of stuff that's like that that's not a full show that's a little tip or they that's unrelated to something else that a guest was talking about in the show and it just seems like.

Miscellaneous sort of a Pope re and I thought why let this go hit the cutting room floor and go to waste we can do many so Mondays and we can always have people on like clay that can teach us really discrete skills which is weird because now ironically it's a full show that we're doing here because you've got a lot of other content yeah so we've got kind of a gateway drug to the art of charm in the form of many so Mondays in part because of you confidently introducing yourself your business or anyone else is a skill that a lot of people struggle with.

First of all even now people ask me what I do and I'm like oh gosh there's a lot of considerations right how wrong do I want to talk do I want to tell this person what I do am I up for a conversation if we're at dinner party and I talk about being a talk show host and teaching non verbal communication and everybody else is a consultant am I wanting this conversation to be about me for the next 45 minutes or about the art of charm for the next 45 minutes and also there's a lot of struggle when introducing other people and I hear about this a lot how do I introduce someone else in a classy way how do I tell people

people what I do in sort of an elevator pitch way that is memorable so I would love to hear about how you develop this yeah absolutely it was back in about 2013 is about three or four years ago I was in San Diego I was living in New York at the time

but I was in San Diego at a conference put on by Jim Quick called superhero you and it was a really interesting conference I was just attending I wasn't speaking but there were other

interesting attendees and on one of the breaks you know he said hey want you know turn around and introduce yourself to the person behind you

and so I did so I turn around he said hey what's your name and what do you do and I introduce myself the way most of us introduce ourselves all the time which is not in a prepared way not in a confident or interesting way

I sort of rambled on and on and I realized I almost saw myself as I was doing it I'm like well and I think I covered you know where I grew up in my favorite flavor wise cream and you know I just went on and on and on and I realized as I was doing it that it wasn't very confident and so then I said so what's your name what do you do you said well my name is Matt

and I said oh that's cool that you know what do you do he said I run a little software company and I said well I'm into startups I'm into software like what is it maybe I've heard of it

and he said it's called automatic and in that moment I sort of realized who I was talking to it was Matt Mullinwig the founder of automatic and creator of WordPress the software the powers about 30% of the internet so here I am chatting up one of my internet heroes I sort of didn't recognize him because his social profiles aren't you know primarily his face and he kind of had longer wet hair that day so it didn't jump out

exactly who he was and I felt sort of like Chris Farley and those old SNL skits where he slaps his forehead and said it's so stupid the way I introduced myself and so I walked away from that interaction you know somewhat embarrassed not too embarrassed but just frustrated that why didn't I introduce myself in a strong component way so I skipped the next session

and got out a piece of paper and just said what was going through my brain was how do I never do that again how do I never introduce myself that poorly ever again

right and so like a lot of things that you know eventually catch on it just started as something I wanted to fix for myself and kind of scratch my own it

it took quite a while not to come up with the thing but I didn't say oh this is going to be a thing this is going to be a movement this is going to be a keynote talk I just wanted to fix it for myself

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