I've got a, I've got a quite copious notes because I'm a rambler and at the same time I'm prone to, uh, uh, you know, sort of totally spacing out and, and not having any idea what to say. So,

well, I'm, I'm, I'm happy to hear your notes. Uh, hit me up.

The most concise way I can think to put it is, is a question should I break up with my girlfriend?

It's a question I've not been able to answer for the past few girlfriends in my entire sort of dating life going back to around 13 years old.

But for all of them, I had an excuse to leave that I was explicit about with these three or four girls in the past.

I now realized I was making

excuses to leave those past girlfriends and do not want to leave my current girlfriend on account of

excuses. I want to either break up with her with certainty, clarity, and strength, or I want to

double down on her relationship and marry this woman with certainty, clarity, and strength.

Please help me write to this self-conflict.

And I put self in quotation marks because I think you believe and have a pretty great case

that self-conflict isn't really a thing.

I'm so tired of this particular self-conflict, which cost me a great woman less than two

years ago, one that most dudes would have would have killed to have, and that I

chose to leave. And it's an interesting thing. It's just to finish, finish this little stanza

is, um, well, never mind, I'll go to that later. How does that, that sound? Is that useful?

Hey, I'm, um, I'm, um, I'm, um, you can, and you can tell me the whole tale.

Okay.

Well, uh, this, so this sort of self-conflict is very, uh, exhausting or distracting.

I really feel like it's keeping me from a lot of, not just happiness, but also productivity

and generosity out there in the world.

So one, one, just to me, genuinely interesting thing that's been happening is I've been having sex with my current girlfriend, unprotected.

...