550 - We Still Play Medieval Dating Games

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Relationships, Sexuality, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 970 Ratings

🗓️ 7 October 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today we're joined by a special guest we've had on the show before, Professor Annalisa Castaldo, to explore 'The Art of Courtly Love,' a medieval manuscript written 900 years ago that resembles a strange combination of romance novel, pickup artist manual, and incel manifesto. Professor Castaldo will be talking with us while we connect these medieval concepts of relationships to modern dating and discover how many of our common "romantic" traditions stem from problematic court culture.If you'd like the PDF guide for this episode, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases. multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Whatever you want to learn, MasterClass has something for you, taught by experts in their fields. Support the show and keep learning at multiamory.link/masterclass.Skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creators. Everything from graphic design and video editing to photography, writing, and business. Get a free month of Skilllshare at multiamory.link/skillshare.Record your own podcast or videos with the same platform as us! Check out multiamory.link/riverside to try it yourself for free.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I give this book full points for staying power, but I really hope that people use it as recognizing, first of all, idolizing women and putting them on a pedestal, always leads to them being pushed off the pedestal and treated like absolute dirt.
0:18.3	And second, that all of this stuff that goes into making sort of the romance industry in
0:26.9	Western culture is not inherent.
0:30.6	And that we can have relationships that are based on actual open communication, transparency,
0:37.1	honesty. And that will create relationships
0:40.1	that are much happier than this sort of, I mean, it is very exciting to, like, have kind of
0:45.6	an obsessive NRE feeling.
0:47.7	But you can't live your life that one.
0:50.2	It's just too tiring.
0:53.0	Welcome to the Multiiamery podcast.
0:56.0	I'm Jace.
0:56.9	I'm Emily.
0:58.0	And I'm Dedeker.
0:59.2	We believe in looking to the future of relationships, not maintaining the status quo of the past.
1:05.4	Whether you're monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently,
1:12.3	we see you, and we're here for you.
1:15.5	On this episode of the Multiamarie Pondy, made for myself to fit.
1:29.7	On this episode of the Multiamary podcast, we're traveling back in time to the 12th century
1:35.6	to uncover the surprising origins of modern dating culture.
1:40.1	And we're joined by a very special guest, Professor Annalisa Castaldo, to explore the art of courtly love, which is a medieval manuscript that reads like a bizarre mashup of a romance novel, a pickup artist manual, and an in-cell manifesto, all written 900 years ago.
1:59.9	Annalisa is a professor of English, core faculty in gender, women, and sexuality studies,
2:05.3	and chair of the English department at Widener University.
	...

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