#550: How to Strengthen Your Marriage Against Divorce

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 9 October 2019

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

While the divorce rate has fallen over the last several decades, plenty of couples still don't pass the test of time. Fortunately, the odds as to whether or not you divorce are not a matter of pure chance, but something you can improve with intentionality. My guest has some research-backed advice on how. His name is Scott Stanley, he's a professor of psychology at the University of Denver and the co-author of the book Fighting for Your Marriage. We last had Scott on the show to talk about the problem with ambiguity in relationships. Today we begin our conversation discussing how marriage issues have changed since he originally published Fighting for Your Marriage in 1994 and the state of American marriage in the 21st century. Scott then shares the biggest issues he sees pop up in marriages over and over again, such as escalating arguments and avoiding conflict. We then discuss communication skills you can use to defuse these common marital conflicts, including uncovering hidden issues and establishing ground rules for arguments. Scott then makes the case that in addition to mitigating conflict, happy couples need to focus on creating positive encounters with one another. We end our conversation discussing how to grow in your commitment to your marriage. Get the show notes at aom.is/fightingformarriage.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
0:11.4	While the divorce rate has fallen over the last several decades, plenty of couples still
0:14.8	don't pass the test of time.
0:16.4	Fortunately, the odds as to whether or not you divorce are not a matter of pure chance,
0:20.1	but something you can improve with intentionality.
0:22.2	My guest has some research back advice on how.
0:24.1	His name is Scott Stanley, he's a professor of psychology at the University of Denver,
0:27.6	and the co-author of the book Fighting for Your Marriage.
0:29.9	We last had Scott on the show to talk about the problem with ambiguity and relationships,
0:33.7	and that was episode number 349 if you want to check that out.
0:36.3	Today, we begin our conversation discussing how marriage issues have changed since you
0:39.6	originally published fighting for your marriage in 1994, in the state of American marriage
0:43.4	in the 21st century.
0:44.4	Scott then shares the biggest issues he sees pop up and marriages over and over again, such
0:48.9	as escalating arguments and avoiding conflict.
0:51.3	We then discuss communication skills you can use to diffuse these common marital conflicts, including
0:55.2	uncovering hidden issues, establishing ground rules for arguments.
0:58.5	Scott then makes the case that in addition to mitigating conflict, happy couples need to
1:01.7	focus on creating positive encounters with one another, and we inter-conversation discussing
1:05.5	how to grow in your commitment to your marriage.
1:07.7	After the show's over, check out our show notes at aam.ias slash fighting for marriage.
1:12.6	Scott joins you now via Skype.
	...

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