547: John Smyth's World of Hammers

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9 • 546 Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2023

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When all you've got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Stuck in traffic? Nail. Deadline to meet? It's a nail. Hungry? Better believe that's a nail. Worried that your only possession in the entire world, the sum total of your life achievements, the only thing your children will inherit when you die of hammer-related injuries, is a hammer? Oh yeah, that's a freakin nail alright. In this episode, Joe wishes the new Smyths Toys television ad was a lottle bit longer. And Log explores the supposedly universal things people say to one another to give them an excuse to be horrible baddies. Steve's here too. There's a great bit about a crow in there! Nine out of ten episode this one.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Regular regular, regular features, a regular regular, regular features.
0:04.0	A regular regular features are show.
0:07.3	Hello and welcome to the Regular Features Podcast, the podcast that's exactly the same every week.
0:13.6	And like every week, we're sponsored by Strepsels.
0:18.2	The cough drop that's got enough crop flop for you to feel crap. That is the new
0:26.9	slogan. They're trialing it out on podcasts around the UK, including regular features. Log,
0:34.4	how are you? Hello, I'm the one who needs strepsels most of all because I'm a poorly leg, poorly, poorly, poorly, so poorly in my legs, that it's gone all the way up to my throat. That is the central nervous system for you, in a nutshell. I've got a cough, but here I am. I love you. Please take the attention away from me because I can't keep this up.
0:57.1	I'm also joined by Joe. Hi, I'm Paul Lee, Shaw, the actor, and I'd love to present to you a new role I'm playing, Joe Scrabbles, with a feature about advertising jingles and Smith's Toys Superstore.
1:14.8	I've also got a feature, but the less said about that, the better.
1:18.0	Smell, smell, smell the well, smell the well, smell the well, smell the well.
1:24.3	Regular features, regular features, regular features.
1:28.9	The podcast that is the same every week.
1:32.3	Regular features, regular features.
1:37.2	They will give you the B name that you seek.
1:40.0	My boys, my boys.
1:42.4	Yeah, Bubba.
1:43.0	Who's that?
1:44.0	Oh, it's me.
1:44.8	I'm just sorry.
1:45.6	I'm not doing a character.
1:47.0	So I lost track.
1:48.1	Do you ever watch an advert and just go, I wish that song in the advert was a real song I could listen to all the time?
	...

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