54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 22 December 2019

⏱️ 90 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown for years. Plus: our actual last-minute holiday gift guide!

Topics of discussion: Benito's trip to Germany, the nature of Christkindl, Christmas Prince power rankings, the Karen and Georgia of a far less successful podcast, a Christmas present from the Canonipal, the Vampire Season and the Werewolf Season, Thomas: Superboy or fan-fiction?, shrivelin' a boy, Chris's experiences being jiu-jitsu'd by a #teen, unwitherin' a boy, Zeno falling off the roof, the Miracle of the Towels, Joseph: the Clown of Carpentry, the return of explosions, The Harrowing of Hell (c. 1600), Glenn Danzig's book collection.

Hymnal: "Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas" by Eels

Offertory: If you have been given riches, wealth, and honor so that you lack nothing of all you desire for yourself, let a stranger enjoy them via ko-fi.com/apocrypals. The Lord, after all, loves a cheerful giver.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The child skipped forward and said to them,
0:02.1	I've made fun of you because I know that your tiny minds marvel at trifles.
0:07.0	The Infancy Gospel of Thomas, Chapter 6, verses 11 and 12.
0:14.7	Baby Jesus, born to rock. Merry Christmas, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocopal's. It's the podcast where two
0:33.8	non-believers who really love Christmas, read through the Bible, and try not to be jokes about it.
0:40.7	My name is Chris Sims.
0:41.5	With me, as always, is the other half of the Sons of Thunder, Benito Serino.
0:45.9	Benito, how are you on this festive holiday season?
0:49.3	I'm incredibly jolly today.
0:51.8	I hope you are.
0:52.8	You definitely sound like it.
0:54.6	Yeah, well, there's only so... incredibly jolly today. I hope you are. You definitely sound like it. Yeah.
0:55.1	Well, I only, there's only so, so much this, this Napoleon dynamite can emote, I have to say.
1:02.9	It's very weird to me that I hit record.
1:07.8	Yeah.
1:07.9	And I am on.
1:09.3	I am radio voice.
1:16.6	I am up and peppy. Not like this grumpy soul on his third cup of coffee that was talking to you a second ago. And you just chill right out. Yeah. I have to
1:24.1	live my truth, Chris. and my truth is pretty chill.
1:29.0	So, I don't know.
1:30.9	But I am excited, though.
1:32.8	I'm very excited.
	...

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