536 Boundaries or Control? Identifying Coercive Tactics
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 29 August 2023
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A few weeks ago, Jonah Hill's ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brady, shared a bunch of text messages he sent her when they were dating. Among them was the above list of "boundaries." As you can imagine, this stirred up a lot of discussion online.
I fell into a Reddit hole about it and was stunned by the amount of misinformation out there about boundaries. People are truly unaware of the differences between coercion, abuse, effective boundaries, and control, which is what this episode is about.
I also talk about the signs of coercive control to watch for and why the Jonah Hill situation is more manipulative than it may seem.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/536
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there, and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. |
| 0:05.6 | And when I started by talking about what inspired me to do this episode a couple of months |
| 0:10.2 | ago, or maybe six weeks ago, Jonah Hill's ex-girlfriend released text messages that he sent |
| 0:15.7 | her two years previous while they were breaking up. |
| 0:20.8 | And it became all the talk of my mental wellness world because he was saying, he was talking |
| 0:27.1 | about boundaries, but he really wasn't. |
| 0:29.6 | He was saying, I need you to respect my boundaries, but what he was really doing was trying to |
| 0:33.5 | coercively control her to act differently, to stop modeling, to not have guys as friends, |
| 0:41.3 | to not hang out with certain women, to take down all these pictures off her Instagram feed. |
| 0:45.4 | It was like a whole thing, even though he met her because she was a surfer and a model. |
| 0:53.3 | And then once he got her emotionally hooked, he was like, yeah, I don't want any bathing |
| 0:56.6 | suit pictures in your... |
| 0:59.2 | Instagram feed, basically. |
| 1:01.6 | And then he's like, these are my boundaries. |
| 1:05.2 | I've been really clear about my boundaries. |
| 1:06.8 | Yeah, and if you don't care, and if you're happy, then great. |
| 1:12.0 | You know, then we should go separate ways, but these are my boundaries. |
| 1:16.7 | So misuse, manipulation, coercion, not boundaries, just not boundaries. |
| 1:22.5 | He is someone who used the word boundaries as a lever of control. |
| 1:27.5 | So anyway, I got me thinking about how much this happens. |
| 1:30.8 | Sadly, I then fell into a reddit cesspool, and while I was so depressing, and I just can't |
| 1:37.5 | believe how much people don't know squat about boundaries, still. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Terri Cole, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Terri Cole and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.