Are you a smart booker or a silly booker?

Smart bookers get access to a three airport lounge by booking a five-star holiday with On the Beach.

Silly bookers?

Well, enjoy those cues at the bar.

Stop booking around and visit Onthebeach.com.

Conditions apply. Seven night minimum stay,bound only from selected airports for up to six people at all protected.

As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island Villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next Sun Lounger and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX, love will reign supreme.

Did you hear about the dirty Easter egg hunt? It was hosted by the Dust Bunny. Why can't you have a concert at the poultry farm?

The chickens won't stop shouting free bird.

If you're writing a mystery about a nose, make sure it ends with a really good snot twist.

If you just read the bio for Dr. Steve, host of weird medicine on Sirius XM103,

and made popular by two really comedy shows,

Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fess,

you would have thought that this guy was a bit of, you know, a clown.

Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got Zabola vibes dripping from my nose. I've got the lepria crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivide stripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbound, exacerbating my imbettable woes.

I want to take my brain out and blast with the wave, an ultrasonic, agographic, and a pulsating shave.

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