I'm all yours, so yeah, what's what's going on? How can I best help?

Well, when I sent the email, I wasn't really able to tell you a whole lot, so I tried to put it

as brief as I could the situation, but I just kind of wanted to expand on it a little bit.

I think what I told you is that I think I have a really awesome toddler, and I'm very much in love with him,

but lately I've been struggling with these feelings of disconnect and anxiety to get away from him,

and sometimes I even... I'll get so anxious that I start to get mean with him. I have yelled at him,

and I'm not peacefully parenting the way that I want to, and I just don't understand why I'm behaving

this way, and why... Who am I serving, I guess, is the question?

Right, right. How old is your son? He's three, the one that I'm talking about, and it seems

like this all just kind of happened after the baby came. Yeah, and how was your pregnancy, I guess,

first and second? Both pregnancies were very easy. The second one was just a little bit harder,

but I would still consider it uncomplicated. The birthing process was really easy, no complications

there, babies were healthy. I was very depressed during the pregnancy with my first one, actually,

now that I'm thinking back. I was very depressed. I guess I should give you a little background

on his story because he doesn't. He's not from my husband. I had him before I met my husband,

and I was making some really bad decisions, and then after I had them, I said, okay,

well, I got to clean up my life, and then I met my husband and made a commitment to do better,

but because of the circumstances, I was a single mom. I was very depressed.

Not... I guess it sounds like I'm making an excuse, but really, I think of it more as like,

okay, that explains it, but I fixed it, but I wonder if some of that kind of lingers forward.

I feel like I had a stronger bond with my son because we had those first 18 months,

just me and him. I was living on savings. I didn't go to work. I made that a priority for us,

...