#523 - Tender Thomas, A Good Beast and Checkout Confidential
Elis James and John Robins
Significant Productions
4.8 • 6.7K Ratings
🗓️ 17 March 2026
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The confidence of one of the great confidence players takes a battering this week. What starts off as some light-hearted fun around the London Marathon (after Johnny JR reveals some exciting news), turns into a head-in-hands moment that curses Elis for the entirety of today’s show.
How does his misstep affect his Cymru Connecting performance? Will the unassailable points gap in Made Up Games get even more unassailable? It’s all to play for.
Elsewhere, John’s imagined a world that almost leaves him in tears, and there’s a TV-worthy MUG that’s more tense than this show’s compliance meeting with BBC bosses after hearing John’s supermarket docu-drama last week…
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, podcasts. |
| 0:24.7 | Good afternoon, everyone. |
| 0:30.2 | As I sat down behind the desk in my office this morning, my PA Samantha burst in. |
| 0:33.4 | Mr. Robbins, I've been on the phone all morning. |
| 0:39.0 | I've got Netflix on hold, four messages from Channel 4, and the BBC want to meet at the earliest possible moment. |
| 0:40.8 | I had been expecting this. |
| 0:43.1 | My undercover docudrama about the opening of a new Aldi had just hit the airwaves, and it had |
| 0:48.4 | evidently caught the attention of the major commissioners. |
| 0:51.7 | Who shall I call back first, Mr. Robbins? |
| 0:53.9 | What shall I say to Netflix? |
| 0:55.5 | Who will get the international rights? |
| 0:57.4 | Then there's Hollywood to think of. |
| 0:59.2 | It's 3 a.m. their time, so we'll need to be ready. |
| 1:03.2 | Sam, Sam, Sam, there's no need to panic. |
| 1:07.1 | Let them wait. |
| 1:08.5 | When you're a content king, you don't flap and fluster like a fearful Francis. You take your time like a tender Thomas. You think of the bigger picture. We knew my audio diary was going to change the game. The rest of the world are just catching up. I moved into my office gym and put on my lifting belt. |
| 1:30.3 | And I began squatting 100 kilos with ease. |
| 1:34.4 | Oh, Mr. Robbins, you're so handsome when you lift. |
| 1:38.4 | Come, come, Sam. |
| 1:39.7 | We may be weekend lovers. |
| 1:41.1 | But we're weekday workers. |
| 1:48.3 | Yes, I know. |
... |
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