BBC Sounds, Music Radio Podcasts.

On Wednesday, I woke to my wife Izzy, who appeared even more thoughtful than usual.

I asked her what was wrong, and I received the following reply.

I dreamt you cheated on me last night.

Lumping sleep out of my eyes, I began to reassure her, of course,

but I could see that she was desperate

to tell me more details.

After you told me, I was very upset, Ellis,

but I could only think of one thing to say,

I shouted at you in the kitchen.

Just answer me one question.

This woman.

Is she Welsh? Ha you reply that she was,

I screamed, then you've got to live your dream. This is Rochtus as a family, because I now realise that regardless of age, background, looks of relationship status, as he sees all Welsh women as a threat.

So I got me thinking, I haven't had a Welsh girlfriend for over 20 years.

I haven't had a Welsh speaking girlfriend for a quarter of a century.

How would me living my dream have impacted on world culture? I, of course, would be Brennan Podladyar Kumri, the King of Welsh podcasts, and my sterling work on Roger Cymry, presenting the breakfast afternoon and drive-time shows would have seen me on it as a druid in the Nationalist Thelthod. However, the ultimate distinction would be when I was given a ceremonial sheriff's glove by the mayor of my hometown of Carmarthen, which would allow me to commit white-collar crime between the hours of 9 and 5pm on a weekday as long as the profits were shared with local bishops. But what of Dave in this sliding doors thought experiment? But what if happened to Dave if we'd never met all of those years ago

because I was living in Wales rather than London

and committed to Radio Cunnery as opposed to Radio X?

Dave, of course, would now be producing drive time on Capital Radio Manchester,

getting listeners revved up as they sit in traffic

and constantly energising his audience for the weekend from

...