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Regular Features

521: Someone Left The Cake Out With Bourdain

Regular Features

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9546 Ratings

🗓️ 2 March 2023

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When you wish upon a star, does it come true? It hasn't for me, so far. I'm only asking to test the "makes no difference who you are" hypothesis. I mean it'd be a *bit* annoying if we've all been sucked in by an international wish-granting scam. But it'd be absolutely galling if I was the only sap diligently facing his wish mat towards Orlando and NOT getting his fondest wish granted. (My fondest wish, in case you were wondering, is to see a punk help an old lady cross the road in Piccadilly Circus, like they used to in the '80s.). If you HAVE had a wish granted on a star, the Kilroy team would like to talk to you. In this two-boy lesstravaganza, Steve has had his nail bit to shreds by a friend's dog, and Log has noticed a very old song leaves uses frustratingly vague language with regards to the villain of the piece: to wit, who left that cakey boy all out in the wet wets? It's his hackiest bit yet! (I'm allowed to say that, I am him) Meanwhile, If you want to read a blog written by a Christian in 2010 that posed precisely the same question as Log, but without using the phrase "f**k the mush with your winkle", check out "Nagging Questions: MacArthur Park" on the AnotherThink blog. NO I WON'T LINK IT

Transcript

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0:00.0

Regular, regular, regular, regular features, a regular regular features, a regular regular features, a regular, regular features, a regular features show.

0:08.0

Hello and welcome to the regular features podcast, the podcast show for you and yours that is, incidentally, the same every week.

0:16.4

What that means for you is a sense of comforting familiarity as anywhere between two and five boys,

0:22.1

fill your ears with their friendship and their love for you. I'm joined here tonight with my best

0:28.4

friend, Steve Hoggedy. Hello, how's it going, Log? This is a two-sum. It is. You said two to five,

0:34.9

rarely two, but it's two to-do right new.

0:38.7

And that'll do for you.

0:39.8

And it's a gruesome twosome.

0:41.4

It is a gruesome twosome.

0:42.6

It is a gruesome twosome because I've got a gruesome fingertip.

0:46.7

I got bit by a dog, and that's not all.

0:51.4

While I was being treated, I ran into an old friend in A&E, and that's my feature.

0:55.8

I was seguing seamlessly into that.

0:58.3

Steve, I don't want to be the only person who sees your gruesome finger, so can you incorporate

1:02.3

it or send me a picture of it so I can incorporate it into the art for this week's episode?

1:07.3

I'm going to spur them the details, because it is a gory scene. In that case, post it in the

1:13.0

Discord so those morbid bastards can see it. I'll make the art for this episode, the dog.

1:18.9

Nice. Nice. So if you see it, kick it fucking heard in. No, don't do that. Wow. It's a nice dog.

1:26.4

It's a lovely dog. I'm just going to move it quickly onto my features to stop you having fantasies of abuse.

1:32.2

I've heard that someone's enough to kick out in the rain.

1:34.9

I'm going to get to the bottom of who did it.

1:40.3

Features.

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