518 Are Unspoken Agreements + Expectations Ruining Your Relationships?
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 27 June 2023
⏱️ 20 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Were you raised in a family with silent agreements?
Were there topics you knew you could not discuss with your parental impactors?
Did big fights or upsetting events happen only for everyone to wake up the following day and pretend they didn't?
Or do you have unexpressed expectations for your partner, family, or friends and feel disappointed when they fail to meet them?
Silent agreements or expectations are often dysfunctional, which is why, in this episode, I am breaking down the dangers of this behavior and where it comes from. I am also giving you questions to understand where you have silent agreements in your life so you can move to expressed or clean agreements.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/518
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there, and welcome to this episode of The Terry Cole Show. |
| 0:04.4 | I want to start with a question. |
| 0:06.1 | Were you raised in a family with a lot of silent agreements, |
| 0:10.8 | meaning maybe there was a big fight the night before, |
| 0:14.9 | and then you wake up in the morning, and everyone's like, |
| 0:17.9 | all right, off to school, everything is fine. |
| 0:19.6 | Nobody talks about it. |
| 0:21.0 | Were there topics that you knew were off? |
| 0:25.4 | You were not allowed to talk about. |
| 0:29.4 | Silent agreements are basically agreements |
| 0:32.9 | that you have not vocally agreed to. |
| 0:37.1 | But unconsciously, we're all in agreement |
| 0:39.8 | that this is the way it's going to be. |
| 0:41.9 | Most of the time when you have these in your life, |
| 0:44.0 | it is dysfunctional. |
| 0:45.3 | So in today's episode, I'm going to be breaking down |
| 0:48.2 | kind of the dangers of silent agreements |
| 0:50.8 | and silent expectations that we may have of other people. |
| 0:55.2 | And I'm also going to be giving you questions |
| 0:57.6 | that you can ask yourself to figure out |
| 0:59.9 | where you might be doing this in your life |
| 1:02.6 | so that you can move from silent or more toxic agreements |
... |
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