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As we enter the new year, I've been reflecting upon which dating royalty will return to the Love Island Villa.

Lovers from across the land will be hoping they get the call to be a Love Island All-Star

and share values of kindness, compassion and snogging.

I urge them to love thy neighbour on the next Sun Lounger and hope that come January 13th on ITB2 and ITBX, love will reign supreme.

Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?

I've got diphtheria crushing my esophagus.

I've got to bowl of I'm stripping from my nose. I've got the leheria crushing my esophagus. I've got Tobolivide stripping from my nose.

I've got the leprosy of the heartbound,

exacerbating my impetable woes.

I want to take my brain out,

clasped with the wave, an ultrasonic, egographic, and a pulsating shave.

I want a magic pill.

All my ailments, the health equivalent of citizen

cane.

And if I don't get it now in the tablet, I think I'm doomed, then I'll have to go insane.

I want to requiem for my disease.

So I'm paging Dr. Steve.

...