Welcome to on attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

dating, love and relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach and attachment expert Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey everybody welcome back to another episode of on attachment.

Today we're going to be talking about five traits of the dismissive avoidant attachment style.

So really understanding what are some of those key characteristics that are common among many people who fall into this

category of dismissive avoidant. Now before we dive into that I want to offer you a

really important cave or you know a piece of

maybe a mindset shift is a good way to put it when it comes to any discussion of avoided people. Because in my experience,

avoidant people get a really bad rap, right? A lot of, you know, whether it's comments on my Instagram posts, a lot of the time

avoidant people are really villainized. You know, the frequency with which I see avoidant people being labeled as you know

cold or as narcissistic or you know these really big loaded labels that you know basically paint these people

as bad and malicious. And obviously we can't speak about everyone,

but in my experience a lot of the time,

Avoidant people are just people in pain and people in fear in much the same way

as anxiously attached people, you know, their anxious behavior is coming from fear, so too is the

avoidant behavior of the dismissive of the avoidant. And while it may be harder to

look upon that behavior with compassionate eyes when we feel like we are the victim of that behavior.

Shifting into, you know, depersonalizing someone's behavior and just looking at it from a perspective of,

that person's probably in fear and triggered in some way and that's why they're

behaving like this. There's a whole lot of growth and healing to be had in that, just that shift.

So I want to offer that and really, you know, qualify and frame the discussion of

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