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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

5 Things To Never Do At A Restaurant

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2023

⏱️ 16 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Transcript

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0:00.0

Yo, yo, all right. All right, moving on. Lazo, you've worked in restaurants.

0:05.4

I have. Uh, I worked in restaurants, although last time bartender, drywall or by trade,

0:11.6

I just happened to be lucky enough to have this job. But those are two things I can do.

0:15.5

I'm a car porter. A good waiter too. I'm a good car porter. Yeah.

0:19.4

You got a nice and clean. Get those decals on there for the dealership.

0:23.0

They probably like me. I'm good at reading a table. Whenever I train people, I always like,

0:27.5

oh, I look. I want to see these two people, right? They're sitting across from each other.

0:35.1

And they ain't talking very much. They've probably been married and been married for a while.

0:38.4

They're dating for a while. We're going to go to that table a lot. As soon as they need more

0:42.4

stuff, we're going to give them someone to see those two people done the first date.

0:44.7

They're talking. They're very interested in each other. We ain't saying nothing.

0:48.1

When combined, fill their glasses and go. Always read the room, man. And still come back.

0:52.8

I get more tips from guys who weren't talking to their wives.

0:56.6

Because they just got nothing to say. That was like, man, this is cash because that guy knows

1:00.1

what I was doing. He's like, thank you, God. I'm like, so I'm like, I'm a little dog in

1:05.1

pony show for you, man. I got you. I'll make her laugh by the time when you guys leave,

1:09.5

she'll think, oh, he was making me laugh. I had a good time at dinner. I understand, right?

1:14.3

Right. Because it ain't working between the two. It's just dead eyes. So I got you.

1:18.8

Snowcon, what's yours? Is it a music DJ by trade or is it assembling furniture? What's your

1:23.8

kind of everything? I was a server for a long time. I delivered a appliance. But you don't have

1:27.8

that thing where you go. This is what I'm pretty sure I might have to do pretty soon. When this

1:33.5

happens, you don't have that thing. Yeah, it's just going to just go find a job. I can manage a

...

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