Welcome to on attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

dating, love and relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach and attachment expert Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of On attachment. Today we're

going to be talking all about how to self-sooth and how to work through a trigger when it arises.

So this is one of the questions I get asked all the time.

And I think that's because, you know, for so many of us, we intellectually know what's going on, right?

We read the books, we listen to the podcast, we follow the Instagram accounts, we do the online courses, we know what's going on, and then when it comes down to it in those moments of trigger when we're fighting with a partner or something happens that freaks us out.

All of that stuff goes out the window and we go back to all of our default patterns,

which, whether it's anxiety, whether it's avoidance,

whether it's some combination or something else altogether,

that overpowering fear and what it does to your body when you're dysregulated,

when you're triggered, it can feel really distressing and almost like you're

at war with yourself, right?

And then afterwards you sort of look back and go, what the hell just happened.

It's almost like your whole brain and body gets hijacked.

And as we'll talk about today, it kind of is like that's happening.

So you're not alone in that and don't worry you're not broken.

And there are things that you can do to become really masterful at

understanding what's going on in your nervous system and prioritizing coming back to safety when you're feeling triggered in your nervous system so that you can slow everything down and actually choose how you want to respond rather than reacting impulsively from a place of fear,

which can often ultimately be detrimental to your relationship.

So before we dive into how to work through a trigger and how to understand your nervous system, I just wanted to remind you all that healing anxious attachment is opening back up again in a couple of weeks. You've probably heard me talk about it.

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