You are listening to the place we find ourselves, the podcast where we not only talk about all things related to story, trauma and therapy,

but also have the privilege of often hearing some of the sacred real-life stories of interview guests.

I'm Adam Young and this is Episode 5, Attachment, What It Is and Why It Matters.

Okay, today we are going to talk about attachment, a very, very important subject.

Attachment refers to, at its most basic level, the manner in which you connect with other people.

It's the emotional bond that you develop with the people you are closest to.

The people who are there for you, the people who truly know you, we are biologically driven to attach to others in order to survive.

When we perceive, threat or danger, we're hardwired to seek protection from and maintain proximity to someone who will be there for us and who truly knows us.

Now, why is attachment so important? Well, the short answer is because we're created in the image of a triune god, a we and not an I.

This makes us highly relational creatures and anytime we're talking about relationship, we're talking about connection.

Attachment really refers to the manner in which you connect with others.

As a result of your relationship with your primary caregiver, you either developed a secure attachment or an insecure attachment.

And we'll talk about both of those in a moment, but I just want to give the following definition of a secure attachment.

If you boil it all down, secure attachment is simply this.

When there is relational rupture, the securely attached individual knows that repair is inevitable and it will be here shortly.

In other words, secure attachment is embodied hope. It is the bodily based expectation that we will soon feel close and connected again.

And it will come about without either one of us having to sacrifice our individuality.

That's the core of secure attachment.

Now, as we begin to talk about what is meant by insecure attachment, let me begin by saying that one of the people that has taught me a lot about attachment is a neuroscientist named Alan Shore.

And a lot of the material in this episode comes from Shore's outstanding book entitled The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy.

Alan Shore is a clinician, a neuroscientist, a therapist who's done a ton of work on how our brains develop as a result of the degree to which we attach securely or not to our primary caregiver.

And so he has done so much work in the area of attachment and neurobiology.

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