#499 Semper Fi with Brian Simpson

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 3 January 2023

⏱️ 98 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I apologize for the terrible audio on this episode. The battery on my Tascam ran out so there are only 15 mins of good audio. Brian Simpson does not deserve bad audio so be sure to check out his stand-up and his podcast where you can hear him a lot better!

For more Brian:

https://www.briansimpsoncomedy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/bscomedian/

https://linktr.ee/bscomedian

For More Ari:

For more Ari:

Get tickets to see Ari on the road: https://www.arishaffir.com/tour

Cool merch & more: https://www.arishaffir.com/

Ari Shaffir - JEW (2022) FULL SPECIAL

The Music:

I Wish I Was Back In The Army- Bing Crosby & Danny Kaye

Stop Children What's That Sound- Buffalo Springfield

Orange Crush- R.E.M

Living on a Thin Line- The Kinks

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Anywhere where the ratio of men to women is as low as it is in the winter.
0:05.0	It gets gayer and gayer and gayer.
0:08.0	If there's no women, there's gays should happen.
0:11.0	I have a joke about it.
0:12.0	Any time it's an all men thing, that means gay.
0:15.0	Oh yeah.
0:16.0	Which man would want to exclude women?
0:18.0	Well, it's just one of those things where you're like, you got a fuck.
0:21.0	We know now that it's a spectrum.
0:25.0	And so where you are on that spectrum determines how long you'll go without seeing a woman before you like fuck it.
0:32.0	I gotta do it.
0:33.0	G, I wish it was back in the army.
0:36.0	The army wasn't really bad at all.
0:40.0	Three meals a day, three for which you didn't pay.
0:44.0	Uniforms or winners spring before.
0:47.0	There's a lot to be said for the army.
0:51.0	The life without responsibility.
0:54.0	A soldier out of luck was really never stuck.
0:58.0	There's always someone higher up where you can pass the buck.
1:01.0	Oh, okay you guys.
1:03.0	Before we even start this episode with Brian Simpson who's hilarious comic.
1:07.0	I posted as many of his clips as I can on my except David Letterman or just some old white guy with a beard.
	...

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