#497 - Badiography, Gunge Limitations and Snippy WhatsApps From The 1pm Bath

Elis James and John Robins

BBC

Comedy

4.8 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 12 December 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today we ask the question: what would a world without Dave look like? A Daveless world. Imagine a sliding doors moment where a sterner producer was given the reins in 2014. Fast forward to late 2025 and in the studio, almost certainly, Elis would still be eating or have forgotten to come in. John would have vape hot boxed himself into a coma. Do not underestimate his impact.

No Dave and no wise words of “Be careful Elis” after one presenter has deployed a “Is that it?!” to John’s detailing his once every six months busy day.

Around such questioning, John also unveils Craig Bellamy’s autobiography (inc. typos) and a senior writer at Rolling Stone gets in touch. Elsewhere, there’s news of more Noel Edmonds hysteria, quite significant gunge chat and a dead silly mad dad. Oh what are those dads like!

Points of contact: [email protected] (Electronic mail) 07974 293 022 (WhatsApp)

Transcript

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0:00.0	BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, podcasts.
0:07.3	Welcome to the Wayne Rooney show.
0:09.3	Twice a week, Wayne Rooney, Kayeard and me, Kelly Somers,
0:12.4	break down the biggest stories in the Premier League and beyond.
0:15.5	Coming to the Premier League, he's shown one called Play, he isn't.
0:18.2	He's been probably the sound of the season.
0:19.6	Plus, we'll hear the funniest and most outrageous stories from Wayne's career. I had two seasons when I played as the number nine and scored 34 goals in both the seasons. But I was bored. Wayne Rooney Show. It's what everybody's talking about. Watch an eye player, listen on Towns. Hello everyone and welcome to the Ellis and John show, or should I say, the troublesome trio, Ellis John and Dave.
1:07.1	Because we've had a message of high import, Dave.
1:10.3	And it comes from one of our younger listeners, Im of high import, Dave. Have we?
1:15.4	And it comes from one of our younger listeners, Imogen Fleetwood, I.F.
1:17.2	India Foxtrot.
1:19.5	One of my sleeper agents.
1:20.8	Okay.
1:22.6	I've been reading a lot about sleeper agents.
1:25.7	Imogen says, Dear Ellis James and John Robbins, and very pointedly, and Dave, in bold, brackets, italics, thick, dense type, squeeze font.
1:36.9	Okay.
1:37.5	Should I be worried at this stage?
1:38.7	No, Dave, if anything, you should be excited.
1:42.1	You're looking at a raise, Dave.
2:01.8	Yes. Imogen says, before I start, I would like to tell you that I would be happy for you to read this out on the podcast. Thank you, Imogen. I'm writing to you today to ask a key question that I've been pondering for some time now. Why don't you include Dave in your title? From a listener's point of view.
2:05.2	Tricky week for this to come up. Carry on, John.
2:05.7	Why?
	...

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