#49: "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally."
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2023
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)
We'll cover:
- why it's normal to feel hurt by a partner moving on faster than we do
- why it's so important to monitor the stories we tell ourselves post break-up
- reasons why people process break-ups differently
- how anxious vs avoidant people tend to move through the break-up period
Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
- Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships |
| 0:10.5 | and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:27.8 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:31.5 | In today's episode, I'm going to be answering the community question of my ex moved on |
| 0:37.0 | immediately post breakup and I can't help |
| 0:39.1 | but take it personally. Do you have any advice? So this is something that I hear a lot and it can |
| 0:44.7 | obviously feel like a twisting of the dagger when we're already in a lot of pain to see our |
| 0:52.8 | ex, whether it's moving on or just seeming to be coping better |
| 0:57.9 | than we are after a breakup. When we're really in the thick of it and we're grieving and we're |
| 1:04.1 | grieving and we're hurt and we're lost and confused to see something pop up on social media or to |
| 1:09.3 | hear about it or to even hear it directly from |
| 1:12.1 | your ex that they're seeing someone new or that, you know, life is going well for them, |
| 1:17.4 | it's really easy to take that and make it mean something about us and that can really prolong |
| 1:22.1 | our suffering at a time when we're already in a lot of pain and hurt. So that's what we're going to be talking about today, |
| 1:30.4 | you know, understanding that experience a little more, |
| 1:33.2 | where you can go astray there and some reframes to help you get through that experience, |
| 1:38.8 | even though it will still be challenging and painful, |
| 1:41.7 | but hopefully we can cut it off there and not make it mean |
| 1:45.1 | something about us as a person. Before I dive into that, a couple of quick announcements, |
| 1:50.7 | the first being that today is the last day to access the sale that I've been running, |
| 1:55.8 | which is 50% off all of my master classes, which are on boundaries, sex and attachment, and navigating |
... |
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