This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be knowledgeable about mental

health treatment, but also to those of you who might say, you'd never darken the door of a therapist.

And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite you to take a few minutes for

your own self-work. It just really came out of the blue. He's highly successful, happy, super

responsible, pillar of the community, always volunteering, always involved, you know, ran his own company.

Sure.

And, you know, he just was always our rock.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

Perfectly hidden depression is way too real for some people. I don't quite remember

when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when my first book, Perfectly Hidden Depression,

was published, but not long after. She's the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the

rubric of perfectly hidden oppression. She tells a story

in this interview about how she happened upon the term perfectly hidden depression when she was

seeking some kind of understanding about the why of her husband's suicidal death. I am honored

to share her story with you and could think of absolutely no better person to feature during the month before the publication of the perfectly hidden depression workbook.

My respect for a penny is immense.

She's fighting severe kidney disease now on top of everything else, but has a passion to tell Dave's story.

You'll hear just how hard it was for her and her children

as one minute she was texting back and forth with her husband, who did seem to be having

...