488: The Space You Keep Avoiding – and What It's Trying to Tell You
School of Self-Image
Tonya Leigh
4.8 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 8 April 2026
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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What if the thing you've been avoiding isn't the problem… but the portal?
In today's episode, I'm taking you inside a deeply personal story – one that started with a box in my garage but led somewhere I didn't expect.
Because we all have something we've been walking past. A space. A conversation. A version of ourselves we quietly packed away.
And what most of us don't realize is that avoidance isn't neutral. It's quietly draining the energy, clarity, and connection we need to become who we're here to be.
This episode is about what happens when you finally stop walking past it – and start listening to what it's trying to tell you.
Here's what we cover:
• Why avoidance isn't laziness – but a fear of the emotions waiting on the other side
• The hidden emotional layers behind what we avoid: disappointment, regret, fear, nostalgia, and grief
• How "quiet avoidance" creates an ongoing drain on your energy, focus, and momentum
• What it really means to grieve a former version of yourself – and why that matters
• The realization that you haven't lost who you were – you've just lost the connection to her
• Why the feelings you've been avoiding are never as heavy as the avoidance itself
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So I have a question for you, and I need you to be honest with me. Is there a space in your life that you just keep walking past? Maybe it's a room that you don't go into or a box you won't open. Maybe it's a conversation that just lives rent-free in your head, but you never actually let it leave your mouth. Yeah, that one. Because I had one too. |
| 0:23.9 | Mine was actually in my garage, and it sat there for months before I finally just pulled back the flaps. |
| 0:30.6 | And today we're talking about what's inside those spaces and what they're really trying to tell |
| 0:35.9 | you about who you've become. |
| 0:38.3 | So don't rush past this. |
| 0:40.7 | Let it find you because I think you already know the answer. |
| 0:45.9 | Something just flickered in your mind. |
| 0:48.1 | Maybe it's a room, a name, a person, or a feeling, and you almost pushed it back down. And that's okay. That's actually what we're |
| 0:57.1 | going to talk about today. Welcome to the School of Self-image, where our motto is simple. |
| 1:04.1 | Elevate your self-image, elevate your life. I'm Tanya Lee, your hostess, and I'll guide you to |
| 1:09.4 | become the woman who doesn't just dream bigger. |
| 1:12.0 | She lives bigger. Let's dive in. |
| 1:15.8 | Now, before I tell you about opening the box, I need to tell you about closing it, because that's the part we never talk about, right? |
| 1:24.0 | We talk about the breakthroughs and the revelations and the moment that everything changed, |
| 1:29.7 | but we don't talk about the quiet afternoon when we wrapped up the best parts of ourselves |
| 1:35.3 | and put them away. And I don't even remember the exact day. Isn't that something? You'd think |
| 1:41.2 | packing away a piece of your own soul would be memorable, but it wasn't dramatic. |
| 1:46.2 | It was probably a Tuesday. I was being very practical. We were in the middle of moving, |
| 1:51.4 | and I was going through closets the way that you do. You're efficient, you're practical, |
| 1:56.6 | you're ruthless and getting rid of things, and you create your keep pile, your donate pile, |
| 2:02.4 | your sell pile. And then I came across some pieces. It was a silk dress from a sailing trip to |
| 2:09.8 | St. Barts from all those years ago. It was a blouse that I wore almost every other day the whole |
... |
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