488: How to De-Escalate Conflicts with Doug Noll
Age Less / Live More
Lucas Rockwood
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2021
⏱️ 39 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
1000s of air rage incidents have been logged just in the past year alone where people lose it mid-flight. They scream, become violent, and cause such a ruckus that they have to be duct taped to their chairs or arrested. Similar incidents are happening at public rallies, in grocery stores, and perhaps even in your home or office. In short, emotions are running high, and most of us are poorly equipped to deal with them.
You've no doubt heard of emotional intelligence, but that's simply a test or assessment. Emotional competence consists of the hard skills needed to understand your own emotions and those of others. And once you can understand, label, and communicate those emotions effectively, high conflict situations can de-escalate fast. On this week's podcast, you'll meet a lawyer and mediator who shares his multi-decade experience in some of the most high-stakes situations imaginable.
Listen & Learn
- How to start by being self aware
- The importance of self-regulate
- How to develop empathy and affect label others
- Why most of us were raised in emotional dysfunctional homes
- How most situations can be de-escalated in 90 seconds or less
Links:
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Doug Noll, is a lawyer, mediator, and author who has mediated thousands of conflicts.
After serving as a civil trial lawyer for 22 years, he has turned his focus to understanding human conflict. His book De-Escalate includes his best techniques for emotional competence and navigating challenging situations.
Nutritional Tip of the Week
- Spirulina overuse
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | In the last year, there's been something like 3,000 air rage cases where people need to |
| 0:08.3 | be duct taped to a seat, airplanes need to land, people are getting arrested, it seems |
| 0:13.3 | like people of all ages, all backgrounds, people are losing it in the grocery store, road |
| 0:18.4 | rage, all kinds of things. It seems like emotions are really high and for better or for us, |
| 0:23.6 | it seems like all of us are pretty ill equipped to deal with the level of emotional stress |
| 0:27.2 | that we're dealing with. And so I've had a number of people on the show to talk about emotional |
| 0:31.2 | intelligence over the years, but for whatever reason, I've never really connected with them until |
| 0:36.3 | this week. I'm really excited to share with you this show talking about emotional competence, |
| 0:41.5 | much more so than emotional intelligence, how to actually deal with a specific situation, |
| 0:46.2 | such as a fellow airline traveler who's out of control or a screaming child or a spouse who |
| 0:53.0 | is having a difficult moment. These are skills that I certainly need to learn as well too. |
| 0:57.1 | If you're new here, it's the Lucas Rockwood show, I'm a yoga teacher, I'm a teacher trainer, |
| 1:00.4 | I'm a serial entrepreneur, but first and foremost, I'm a student, I like to learn things, so I go |
| 1:04.8 | into the world and I find people who are trainers, authors, experts in this case, a former lawyer, |
| 1:09.9 | hopefully people who are doing interesting things in the world and I bring their work here, |
| 1:13.4 | so we can all learn. Let's see how it goes. If you like the show, leave a rating and review on |
| 1:17.4 | whatever app you're listening on. If you would like to send in a question for the show, send it to |
| 1:23.0 | my Instagram, it's at Lucas Rockwood. Lastly, if you'd like to be on my email list, |
| 1:27.1 | it's yogabody.com forward slash, sign me up, I send a weekly update about the show and I also |
| 1:33.1 | send my teaching calendar around the world. Thanks so much for listening, and enjoy. |
| 1:39.3 | Welcome everybody, Lucas here. Today's show is called How to Deescalate conflicts, and I am |
| 1:43.4 | joined with Doug Null. Doug is a lawyer, a mediator. He's an author and he's mediated thousands of |
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