This is self-work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be knowledgeable about middle

health treatment, but also to those of you who might say, you'd never darken the door of a therapist.

And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite you to take a few minutes for

your own self-work. I remember, in fact, when I was facing empty nest and I kept reading

about what other people had said, one writer that I came to know and really appreciate, she said,

realize that you want your life to have fresh things

in it just like your child's life will have. And of course, he was my only child, and so that made

that even more poignant. Welcome to this week's edition of self-work. When you know something

is going to happen that will bring with it its own kind of grief,

whether it's a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness, an unwanted divorce being

filed, learning that a child will struggle with a learning difference.

It can bring a slew of emotions, many of them moving in and out of your awareness quickly.

Some being more comfortable

or anticipated than others, some irritating and disappointing, and some downright hard.

Worry and anxiety usually come along with dread. We all live our lives believing we have

a pretty good idea of what's likely to happen, we start preparing for

that, even if it's bad or harsh news. But at times, something truly unexpected drops like a

bombshell. As a therapist for quite some time now, I'm an advocate for what's termed anticipatory

grieving, where you visualize the future, even though that future seems grim. You mentally allow

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