481 - Can You "Fix" Your Partner's Insecurities?

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

Multiamory, LLC

Sexuality, Self-improvement, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education

4.9 • 935 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2024

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today we're talking about insecurities, which all of us have in one way or another, and whose responsibility it is to alleviate them. A lot of us are unsure whether it's our own personal work to do or something to work on together with a partner. Therefore, today we'll be discussing the difference between personal insecurities and relationship insecurities, looking at what the science says about trying to manage a partner’s insecurities, and how to create a sense of greater security both in yourself and in your relationships. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiQuality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYCut out single-use plastic in your laundry room and claim forty percent off your Earth Breeze subscription at EarthBreeze.com/multi. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think specifically in the non-monogamous community for years there has been this tension and this push pull that there's this particular school of thought that if your partner is feeling insecure at all, that's their shit to deal with,
0:17.2	that's their personal work.
0:18.7	You know, it's all on them and it has nothing to do with what you are doing or your behavior.
0:24.0	And then there's the other school of thought of,
0:26.0	and maybe this comes more from traditional relationships,
0:29.0	but it's like if you're feeling insecure,
0:30.0	you're feeling jealous, like that is your partner's problem to solve.
0:32.0	They need to stop whatever it is they're doing.
0:34.8	That is causing you to feel insecure.
0:36.8	And I think the reality is that it lies somewhere
0:39.4	in this in-between space, where I do think both partners
0:42.3	have a responsibility to shore up the sense of security
0:46.5	in the relationship and there's a certain point where you cannot fix a partner's personal
0:52.4	insecurities necessarily.
0:54.0	It's really tricky to figure out where that line lies sometimes.
1:00.0	Welcome to the Multiamari podcast.
1:02.0	I'm Jace. I'm Emily. Welcome to the Multiamari Podcast.
1:02.6	I'm Jace.
1:03.7	I'm Emily.
1:04.8	And I'm Dettaker.
1:06.0	We believe in looking to the future of relationships,
1:09.0	not maintaining the status quo of the past.
	...

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