48: How Often Should I Be in Touch with My College Freshman?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 21 September 2021

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Getting into college is hard work. So how do you raise kids who will thrive once they get there? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can prepare their kids to succeed when they become independent (hint: it's not about academics). When should a parent be concerned about a child who does not communicate with them? Is there such a thing as providing too much long-distance emotional support? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.
0:12.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:19.0	And I'm co-host Rina Ninan a journalist and
0:22.4	mom of two some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves most
0:27.4	of the time I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions so send your
0:31.6	questions to ask Lisa at dr.lisa demore.com. Episode 48.
0:40.4	How often should I be in touch with my college freshman?
0:52.8	I almost hate to mention it, but I was thinking the other day, this time next year, you would have sent off a college freshman.
0:58.1	I know, you know, and believe me, it is in front of me all of the time because we're deep in the college process. I mean, it's basically dominating
1:03.2	life around here. And so even if I don't want to think about it, I don't really have a choice.
1:10.4	She's doing a great job with it. But man, oh, man,
1:12.7	it, I have a new level of understanding and empathy when parents talk about the intensity of the
1:18.5	college process. I bet, you know, a friend was saying she now passes by her college freshman's
1:23.9	room and it's like it just hurts her heart because she realizes, oh my God,
1:27.6	she's not at school in town. She's, she's away. She's gone, you know? It's hard, but it made
1:33.7	me think how often should you be in touch? What should you do? Like, just because they're out,
1:38.6	doesn't mean your parenting is over. And we got this letter, Lisa. It says, dear Lisa,
1:43.2	Rina, I'm hoping you'll do a podcast episode on how to deal with a kid who's away from home going to college for the first time.
1:50.9	How often should a parent reach out to them? Is texting daily too much? I don't want to make the transition more difficult, and yet I'm missing my son and want to know how he's managing.
2:00.1	I don't see much guidance on this online, and I know it's not an easy transition, especially
2:04.5	with the COVID pandemic still going on. What do you suggest? And how can I make the transition
2:10.0	easier? Thank you for your help. What a great letter. Nobody talks about this. You send
	...

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