This is Self-Work, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At Self-Work, we discuss psychological and emotional issues and what you can do about them,

whether that's learning self-acceptance, taking action, or seeking therapy or treatment.

Eight years ago, I extended the walls of my practice to reach those of you who might already be

knowledgeable about middle health treatment, but also to those of you who might say you'd never

darken the door of a therapist. And yet, you are here. I'll answer your questions while I invite

you to take a few minutes for your

own self-work. And yet one of the ironies and what I want to address in today's self-work

is that the model we've had taught to us in a very this is how you should be grieving kind of way

was initially meant or designed to describe the

stages of grief for the person who is terminally ill or dying themselves.

It's Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief.

Welcome to this week's edition of Self-Work.

Grief is never easy, and it can be made harder by the many things that happen with grief

that you're not prepared for, or believe should be happening and things that shouldn't be

happening.

Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross made the observation about terminally ill people that they seem to go

through five stages of grief, denial, anger,

bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But she never meant for that model, no matter how

interactive or nonlinear we may think about it, to become what it's become some kind of standard

yardstick where you're supposed to measure if you're grieving the right way. There's not a right

way. And it's been my professional and personal experience that grief has a way of weaving in

...